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What does an eighty-year-old woman have in between her boobs that a twenty-year-old woman doesn't?

A belly button.

I looked at my daughter. I told her what's wrong.

She said I wasn't being a daddy to her until...

There was a woman sitting with me.

I had to leave until she pointed at something—it was my butt.

I was confused until it was her turn for truth or dare.

There's a girl I like in my school, but she's always on her phone. It seems that I can't get a SIGNAL from her.

Maishah the poo turned into a fart, which is the big fart monster's best friend. This is her: 🐷🐷🐷🐷ðŸĪĒðŸĪĒðŸĪĒðŸ’ĐðŸ’ĐðŸ’ĐðŸ’Đ👊ðŸŧ👊ðŸŧ👊ðŸŧ👊ðŸŧ👊ðŸŧðŸ―ðŸ―ðŸ―

Her last name starts with "A" and ends with "D," and the middle letters are "P-O-O."

The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet. The student recited the alphabet: "abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz". "Where's the p?" He looked down to the floor and said: "it's running down my legs".

What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly, officer, I never heard her say no.

My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.

She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.

I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!

  • 2

    • A mom and her two children were eating at a place while playing trivia when she asked what does AIDS stand for? Her son Dallyn has no idea, but her daughter Emberlee, who has always been a little odd, says, "An Intentional Disease." Her brother and mom just stared!

    What does a woman do when she leaves the battered women's shelter?

    "Cook my dinner, if she knows what's good for her."

    What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

    Nothing you haven't told her twice already.

    What did Ron put in his diary?

    I "Her-mio-ne" after I banged her last night.

    Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?

    'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.

    Why couldn't the girl with no arms hug her parents?

    Because she had none of the above.

    I know a little girl who once had an accident. When I asked her what her favorite song was, she responded with "ðŸŽķHead, shoulders, wheels, and frame! Wheels and frame!ðŸŽķ"

    British MP Sally Ann Hart has filed for divorce citing sexual unfulfillment.

    Her husband couldn't fuck her the way her stupidity could.