My mother wanted to test my responsibility and wanted me to cook dinner for the family to help mean understand how it feels to constantly cook for a whole family. So me with my horrible humor decided to make a giant joke for when dinner time came around and so I just got four plates and set them in front of my family and I then said, "Here you are a fine African meal." then everybody looked at me in disappointment and then I continued to say, "what poor taste?"
When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying
When I asked her where her parents were, she cried louder
That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage
Nike isn't helpful for suicidal people. You can't tell them to Just Do It
In my spare time I help blind children. -- I mean the verb, not the adjective.
You wanna know how to get rid of potential scam callers?
Next time you get a call from them just answer the phone and say "Pizza Hut abortion clinic where yesterday's loss is today's sauce, how may I help you?"
I called the rape advice line last night turns out its just for victims
Brother: I can hear you using the vibrator every night, I’m right here if you need help Sister: that’s my fu__ing electric toothbrush Brother: oh, well the offer still stands.
When you are suicidal comedic relief sometimes helps. These jokes sometimes help you realize how many more people feel the way you do and how ridiculous it sounds sometimes.
But joke time....
I’m giving in my two week resignation to life... it’s not you ... it’s me!!!
My depressed friend said he wanted to jump off of a bridge but he didn’t wanna commit suicide. I told him if yhu jump and yell parkour, it’ll just be a failed stunt
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
how do you help a depressed kid face their fears... u count to 3 and say jump>
like this if you have ever been abused
dentist: open up sir
me:so..i hate my life my family my sisters my dog my cat and i tried to take a bath with my toaster but my dog took it that's why i hate my dog and my cat died trying to chew my rope it choked.....yea
dentist: i.. meant your mouth .. so i can clean your teeth
me: :O ohhhh my bad
dentist : do u need help??
me: yep
dentist:...
me: ....
My friend and I were walking down the street and we saw this one disabled kid getting bullied by 3 other kids. Urgently, we sprinted over to help.
He had no chance against the 5 of us.
Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common?
A: They aren't much to look at but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.
A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid
Man: Hang in there! Im gonna get some help!
Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said
RIP Daniel Kyre from Cyndago (July 6, 1994-September 18, 2015)
Daniel commited suicide five years ago today......
I wondered if becoming a furry could help me escape my crippling depression... Unfortunately, the veterinarian insisted that he still wasn't going to euthanize me.
After work, i volunteer to help blind children. Verb, not adjective.
So my mom sent a text saying, "I'm gonna need help carrying groceries when I get back." That was 3 months ago.
Three guy are in the woods, a a really smart guy, an average, and a really dumb guy, they bored so the smart guy decides to go hunting a little while later he comes back with a dear, the average guy asks how do did you do that? The really smart guy says says I see dear tracks I fallow dear tracks, I see dear I shoot dear. The average guy say I think I understand and leaves, an little bit later he comes back with a raccoon. The really dumb goes *gasp* how did you do that!?. And the average looks at him funny and says well I see raccoon tracks I fallow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon I shoot raccoon. The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says Oooohh, ok I thiNo I can do that.. and leaves. Hours pass and and the guy finally returns, hurt, bloody, and horribly mingled. They run to help him. Finally one of the guys ask him what happened this is what he said: I see train tracks, I fallow train tracks. I see train I shoot train. But train keep coming.
