After work, i volunteer to help blind children. Verb, not adjective.
So my mom sent a text saying, "I'm gonna need help carrying groceries when I get back." That was 3 months ago.
A depressed man buys a gun for suicide but then thinks "maybe i shouldn't be doing this" and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.
I called a Suicide Helpline, but they didn't help me commit suicide. Tbh they really left me hanging there
The closest thing in a depression person's life is a knife and his/her throat
How do you help a constipated person?
U scare the shit out of them
imagine getting a call and it says "welcome to Davids orphanage you make them we take them how may we help you.
In my free time, I like to help blind people
Verb, not adjective
A man goes to the library to find the best book about committing suicide. So when he asks the librarian, "What's the best book on committing suicide?" The librarian said, "Oh fuck off...you won't bring it back anyway."
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway and that even if she didn’t, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.
Depression I got it. A girlfriend dont got it. A life dont got it. Help got it. Freinds dont got it. Family I got it. Best of all depression I got it !!!!!!!!
me: calls suicide hotline hotline lady: suicide hotline, how are you doing today? me: not much, just hanging
I saw an orphan crying the other day, so I ask, "where are your parents?" God, I love working at an orphanage:)
So the other day i saw a child in a wheelchair
he was getting bullied alot so i came up
And said why dont you stand up to those bullies
Brother: I can hear you using the vibrator every night, I’m right here if you need help Sister: that’s my fu__ing electric toothbrush Brother: oh, well the offer still stands.
I am throwing a party in space can you help me planet
Friend #1: "Yo guys, what's the most unfair game you've ever played? For me it's Fortnite."
Friend #2: "I'd have to say Monopoly."
Me: "The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it's a one-way game."
Friend #2: "Uhh...that's not exactly what he meant..."
Friend #1: *calls the suicide hotline*
What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.
jesus and satan are just basically homer and flanders. one tries to help the other, only for satan to just say "shut up".
people say I should be proud of my autism but truth be told I'm only in it for the help in class
