Heard jokes

Heard the Helen Keller single?

It’s called ERRRRRAGHHH!!!

Ever heard of the game T.T.2: 9/11? That game was bomb.

Have you heard about the Pokemon called "rhy rhy rhyde" on deez nuts?

Have you heard the new pickup line in a gay bar?

Can I push your stool in for ya?

One day I was on my phone, then I got a text message from my girlfriend, "Hey, sexy boy, wanna hang out tonight if you know what I mean...?" Then I just stopped and froze. I read the message. I said, "Yeah, sure..." She replied really fast, "There's going to be a few people there, ok." But I didn't read the next message... She said, "Come right at 12:00 AM." But I didn't read it. I walked into her house, but I heard a strange noise like a moaning noise, and it sounded like HER!! So I hid behind the couch, and I looked through the open door and saw something I didn't want to see... Like for part 2 and comment if you want me to make another!!

Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.

Mom: Witherspoon.

Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!

"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"

"He died."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."

(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"

I got these two people in my class we call them Twin Towers, so when I heard about it I threw a paper airplane at them.

Why do orphans have no sense of humor?

I guess they've never heard a dad joke.

Why were her hands purple?

She heard it through the grapevine.

Have you heard the 9/11 joke yet?... It was pretty fire.

Yo yo Zac, have you Amber HEARD about the Johnny Depp case? ARRRRRRRRRRR!

Have you heard of Wendy's?

Yea, Wendy's nuts in you mouth.

Have you heard about kids with AIDS?

It never gets old.

Bf: Babe, do you love me?

Gf: Of course, why do you ask?

Bf: I heard that your mom passed away, and I went to pick some roses for you to try to cheer you up, and then I remembered why I went to the garden.

Why did the rapper go to the seafood restaurant?

Because he heard they had PHAT BASS.

Have you heard of the show Naked and Afraid?

That's what I call hide and seek with my uncle.

I heard that the Twin Towers have some plane DNA.

Why did the rapper carry an UMBRELLA?

Because he heard there was a 50% chance of "Lil Wayne."

Ever heard of account stealing?

Ever heard of someone by the name of "#SHUT THE HELL UP GWEN DON'T EVEN DATE PRINCE ON FACE BOOK!!!!!!!! I HATE IT WHEN UR HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"?