My mom told me its not healthy to stay in my room all day....but the only places I’m allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.
Little Johnny and his dad were going to buy a horse.Dad: Rubing on the horse’s chest and butt.Little Johnny: what are you doing? Dad: checking to see if the horse is healthy so I can buy it. Little Johnny: Oh well I think the mall man wants to buy mom.
What do fish 🐟 take to stay healthy ?
Vitamin Sea.
Sara opens her lunch and reads the letter inside. "I packed your favorite -love mom," Sara reaches in and announces "yay PB and J," Tom goes in his lunch and pulls out a letter " go bye your self something healthy at the cafeteria -Dad," then pulls out 20 bucks and says "nice," they both look at craig as he pulls out a letter. craig reads the letter in his head, it said "WE HAVE YOUR PARENTS, THEY TELL US THEY KEEP THE MONEY UNDER THER BED. BRING $10 000 TO THE RANDAVOU POINT OR THEY WILL BE KILLED. YOU DIDN'T TAKE US SERIOUSLY LAST TIME SO THERE IS MORE PROOF IN YOUR LUNCH." Craig throughs down the letter and pulls a finger out of his lunch. Tom and Sara look shocked, then Craig says "ugh, severed finger, again!"
Doctor: You're as healthy as a horse! Jimmy: That's great! Doctor: A horse with cancer.
doctor: you need to eat healthy
me: no
doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after i suggested it died
me: oh my goodness
doctor: in a plane crash
me: that sounds unrelated
doctor: i'm the one that crashed it. do not disobey me
A women just went through laber,she ask the doctor"was it a healthy delivery"the doctor replies"it wasn't delivery,it's digiorno"
One day a man was fixing a car, an he accidentally got brake oil in his mouth. He was about to spit it out, but then he thought, "hmm, this tastes pretty good!" So he would keep drinking brake oil. But his friends were getting worried about him, and they were like "dude, this can't be healthy." But he said "Don't worry. I can STOP anytime."
A womens knitters group is having a meeting and they are all pregnant. They all talk about their pregnancies. One woman says "I'm taking vitamin C so my baby has a healthy immune system". Another knitter says "I'm taking Folic acid to help my baby's brain". Finally one woman says "I'm taking Thalidomide". All the women turn to her and say "Thalidomide ! Don't you know your baby could be born without arms?" The woman shrugs her shoulders and says "I don't know how to knit arms". (Told to me by a woman knitter)
If the hairdresser is healthy, the cat is happy. *purr* On the other hand, if the hairdresser is sick, the cat is happy too. *purrs on the bed*
what makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man? "im still standing, yeah yeah yeah" (from elton john)
Life lesson guys:
Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.
Why are ant colonies very healthy? Because they have lots of anti-bodies.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
what makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man? " they can move it move . ( from king julian)
I don’t know why I go to the gym being healthy is dying fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up
You know the stupid trend where people say it’s ok to be overly obese? Healthy even? That you should take pride in it? Which idiots started that movement? Well. We know one thing for sure. They were obviously members of a wider community.
When I found out that 10 billion bowls of soup is consumed each year in AMERICA, I thought to myself, "I thought soup was healthy. Apparently not."
what did the skeleton say when his girlfriend said "im gonna break your heart" He says "go ahead your not breaking my 206 healthy bones"
(This isnt a joke)
There was a homeless family in need for a room. But, The guy said no more rooms because they were Homeless......... So, they got into a barn..... And, the mother gave birth to a young healthy boy. And, Before you say anything bad to a homeless man, That little boy was born on December 25th. Guess who it is.
JESUS CHRIST!!!!!! STOP HURTING THE HOMELESS PEOPLE AND START HELPING THEM!!!!!!!!
