Hawking

Hawking jokes

Stephen Hawking

"Stephen Hawking was talking about a cash register at Costco when he said I can’t stand these people. 😳😳😳😳😳😳 What did he saaaaaaayyyyyyy?"

Religion

Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God?

Computers don’t really have a specific religion.

Log

What happens when Stephen Hawking wakes up from his sleep?

"Log in."

Wing

Stephen Hawking is the fastest footballer ever--he could just charge up the Left Wing!

Movie

There's a new horror movie about Stephen Hawking.

It's called "Unplugged!"

Anthem

How are Stephen Hawking and Kaepernick so much alike? They both don’t stand for the national anthem.

Blackout

For Stephen Hawking, why is being drunk and having his power shut out the same?

He blacks out.

Wheelchair

Q. Why can't Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?

A. He can't get his wheelchair up the stairs.

Stairway

What did Stephen Hawking say on the stairway to heaven?

Oh, fuck! I can’t get up them.

Death

The reason Stephen Hawkings died is probably because he fell off his wheelchair, and he must've pressed shut down by accident.

Reason

The real reason Steven Hawking died is he was drunk and tried to go down a flight of stairs.

Atm

I saw Stephen Hawking using an ATM. It is nice to see he had found someone before he shut down.

Difference

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby?

Both of their legs don't work.