Have jokes

I hope you have to dip your Oreos in water because your dad never came back with the milk.

What does a sad cowboy and a supernatural fan have in common?

Both want to put a Winchester in their mouth.

Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant. And die.

Having sex in an elevator is wrong. On so many levels.

Orphan: Wanna have a sleepover?

Friend: But you're an orphan.

Orphan: Just wanted a place to sleep tonight!

Why do orphans have no parents?

Because no one loves them.

Friend: What are you doing?

Me: Putting peanut butter on my balls.

Friend hears in the distance, "Orphans, I have food for you!"

I was at the beach today, and there was a big wave.

Somebody went, "Damn, that crashed harder than the Twin Towers." Jack may have survived the towers, but not the crash.

Can you imagine The Count from Sesame Street having sex? "1 orgasm..., 2 orgasm..., 3 orgasm..., ah ah ah!"

What do Batman and a Black man have in common?

Answer: They can't go anywhere without Robin.

Why don't orphans have Life360?

Because parents won't track them.

I have a body count of 7.

I used to have an imaginary friend who I could talk to, and he could grant me wishes and stuff... and then I stopped going to church.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar.

They should have ducked.

A kid and a man are walking into a forest at night.

Kid: "Mr., it's getting dark. I'm scared!"

Man: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

What do a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her have in common?

They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"

Women have so much evil in their blood that God has to drain it once a month. Hehehehehe

A man walked into a bar with an AK-47 with a 50-round mag and yelled out, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" Everyone was quiet.

One man at the back stood up and called, "Sorry mate, but I don't think you have enough bullets."

Why can orphans get away with being bad at school?

They do not have parents to bring to parent/teacher conferences.

Why do orphans play baseball?

Because they have to run back to home base.