Have jokes

What do your underwear and the Starship Enterprise have in common?

They are both concerned about “Klingons near your anus”.

How many gangsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

35! Do you have a problem with that?

I asked my nan if she wouldn't mind shitting in a bucket when we went camping. She replied, "Why the fuck would I want to sit in a bucket?" So eventually she did, and I took the best shit I have ever had!

Why can't orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call "daddy."

If a computer was an apartment, the only passage would be the windows.

It would have had doors, but why was it ever spelt DOS?

Why can't orphans have family size chip bags? Because they have no family to have them with.

What does a frozen loading screen and a Make-A-Wish kid have in common?

They both couldn't make it all the way.

This isn't really a joke, but it's true. Your picture for your funeral may have already been taken :)

Even if you do burn down an orphanage, it's not gonna matter. It's not like they have homes.

Why can't an orphan have a website?

... No homepage.

Why are Americans bad at chess? Because they have already lost two towers.

Q: Why do women only use their lefts?

A: Because they don't have any rights.

Why can't orphans become YouTubers?

They don't have electricity!

Doctor: I’m so sorry, sir, but you only have a couple months left.

The sir: My children will be devastated.

Doctor: But I have a shot that can change that.

The sir: Whatever it takes.

*Suppressed gunshots*

Why can’t orphans have sex?

Because they don’t have a daddy to run back to.

I went to China and said, "I have a big cock," so they thought I said they look like a cock. Then I realized I said it in English.

Why did the pony have to gargle? Maybe because he was feeling a little hoarse.

Have you ever eaten a clock before? I heard it’s very time consuming.

I bought these trainers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced it with, but I have been trippin' all day.

Did you hear Biden went to the ER?

He's having a little trouble with his Putin.