Have jokes
Two cannibals have just captured a man and are about to eat him, so they cook him and lay him on a table. The first cannibal says, "You start at the bottom, I start at the top," so they both chow down.
About half an hour later, the second cannibal says, "I'm having a ball!" Then the first cannibal says, "Then you're eating too fast!"
How to make an orphan BLEED?
Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.
Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.
Step 3 - Tell them to kys.
Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.
What do emo kids and bats have in common?
They both hang from trees.
What do Michael Jackson and Tesco carrier bags have in common? They’re both made out of plastic and harmful to children.
A lady walks into a dentist's office, sits on the counter, and spreads her legs. The dentist says, "I think you have the wrong idea." The lady replies, "Last week you gave my husband his false teeth; now you can get them out."
What do terrorists do on 9/11? They have a game of Jenga.
These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says, "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says, "So, just eat the potatoes."
Why did Helen Keller’s boyfriend have wax on his finger? Because he was whispering sweet nothings into her ear!
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and an erection? I don't have a Lamborghini.
Why aren't there any closets in southern churches? Closets have coat hangers.
A woman walks into a supermarket and sees a blind man swinging a dog around in the air. So, the woman walks up to him and asks, "What are you doing?" The man says, "Just having a look around."
Three men walk into heaven at the same time. They all live in the same city. God asks the first man, "How did you die?" The man says, "I have a heart condition, and I've been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. Anyway, I get home from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hanging off the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guy's fingers! He falls into a bush, so I throw a refrigerator on him." God asks the next man, "How did you die?" The man says, "I was cleaning the windows, and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! Luckily, I fall safely in a bush! But then a refrigerator falls on me!" God asks the third man, and he says, "I was the one in the fridge!"
Kobe would still be alive if he would have gone to jail for raping that girl.
Why did Steven Hawking have no friends?
He couldn’t stand anyone...
I made a website for orphans, but sadly it didn’t have a home page.
How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Enter, backspace, enter, backspace, enter, backspace.
How do you know when your girlfriend is too young?
You have to make airplane noises to get her to open her mouth.
Sorry.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't have a closet to come out of.
Why are cats good at video games?
Because they have nine lives!
What do apples and witches have in common? They both hang on trees.