Have jokes
What do Israel and Epstein have in common?
"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."
Why was 10 scared? Because it was scared of 9/11. And why did I have to take a fall? I have nothing to do with the big II.
What is the speed limit for sex? 68, because if you go any faster, you’ll have to turn around.
What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?
They know how to get a beat down.
What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.
We finally have something in common with Africa. They die of starvation, we die of overeating.
Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.
One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."
The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."
The president of the USA is so damn stupid. His mother must have taken Tylenol while she was pregnant with him, or something.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There were two when we were kids, but now it’s a touchy subject.
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
They only have a back door.
POV: You keep having auditory hallucinations and fully believe your house is haunted because you never went and got diagnosed for schizophrenia.
I got hired to work as a camp counselor for kids with ADHD, but I got fired. I guess I shouldn't have introduced myself with "Welcome to concentration camp".
Did you hear about the guy who got fired for having sex with his clients?
He was a great veterinarian.
What do noodles and women have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.
If Charlie Kirk were a 5-year-old schoolkid being murdered, America would have moved on by now.
A boy is working on his English homework and asks his father for some help. "Dad, what's the difference between 'potential' and 'reality'?"
His dad replies, "I'll tell you what. Go ask your mother if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks. Then go ask your sister if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks. Once you have their answers, you'll know the difference."
So the boy goes to his mother and poses the question: "Would she sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks?"
She answers, "Don't tell your Dad, but yes, I certainly would!"
The boy then goes to his sister and asks her his next question: "Would she sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks?"
"Oh definitely!" she answers, without a moment's thought.
The boy goes back to his father, an expression of understanding on his face.
"You're right, Dad, I know the difference now. Potentially, we're sitting on two million bucks. In reality, we're living with a couple of sluts."
What do planes and offices have in common?
They both tend to cross paths at the wake of disaster.
The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister in Sweden.
He should have his cabinet together by the end of the weekend.