Have jokes
What do 9/11 and gender have in common?
They used to be two, and now it's a sensitive topic.
One day I was walking next to a homeless man, and he was eating grass. I asked him if he was hungry. He said yes. I said, "Follow me." You should have seen his face when I showed him my backyard!
Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein walk into a bar. But a few minutes later, they would walk out, because you have to be 21+. No room for those two.
What do maths and 9/11 have in common?
They both prove two parallel lines can be intercepted by a plane.
Why do American guns only have 30 rounds in the clip? Because that’s the average class size.
What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?
They both come with a toy.
The USA has school shootings. We Canadians have bus beheadings.
I said I’m losing my mind. My friend said, “You didn’t have much to begin with.”
I have a friend who's a suicide bomber. He's a blast at parties.
My therapist said I have trouble letting go of the past. So I killed him.
What do autistic retards and birds have in common?
They both flap their arms, lol.
"Having too much sex can result in memory loss."
I read that on page 37, paragraph five of the New England Medical Journal on September 15th, 2014, at 10:37 AM.
Why didn't Michael Jackson have a girlfriend? He's afraid of women.
An Ob-Gyn asks a lady to put her feet up on the stirrups.
Doctor: My God, you have the biggest vagina I’ve ever seen!
Woman: You don’t have to say that twice.
Doctor: I didn’t.
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.
He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
What show would have made Michael Jackson a superstar for television? To Catch a Predator, for obvious reasons.
You'd think with Jason being a pastor's kid, his parents would have gotten him Invisalign.
And an exorcism.
Q. What do Canadian women and Canadian beer have in common? A. They're both stronger than they look.
What’s the worst thing about having a sister with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What do a plastic bag and Jeffery Epstein have in common?
They're both dangerous to children.