Have jokes
Why do black people have nightmares? Because the last person who had a dream got shot.
A young man was crossing the road when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful princess." The man took the frog, smiled at it, and put it in his wallet.
The frog called out again, "If you kiss me and I turn into a princess, I will live with you for a week and do everything you want." The young man took the frog out, smiled, and put it back.
Then the frog called out, "Okay, okay! I will be with you and do whatever you want forever!" The young man laughed and put it back in his wallet.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is wrong with you? I'm offering to be a beautiful princess! Why won't you kiss me?"
The young man said, "Listen, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is pretty cool."
How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?
I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.
What do birds and planes have in common?
They both fly into building windows.
Louis Armstrong and Tork Poettschke go for a walk.
One says to the other, "My wife always says that icke is no worse than the other men."
"How many men does your wife have?"
What do trannies and jokes about them have in common?
Neither of them get old.
Tork Poettschke says to Charles Bukowski: "You have beautiful teeth! Are they also available in white?"
The man had no arms and a little girl came over and said, "Give me a high-five."
He said, "I’ve got no arms," and the girl said, "Are you an eel? Cause he don’t have arms."
The real reason women are always cold is because they’re not in front of a stove or an oven. So, naturally, when they leave the habitat, they need to have two blankets.
People always call me heartless. That’s not true. I have a heart... it just wasn’t meant for you.
Someone prank calls a general. The general hangs up and goes, "Kids these days have no respect for their elders. That's why I send them all to die."
Did you hear about the dyslexic couple who were struggling to have sex? They kept doing the 96 positions.
My friend is a pimp.
I think he's having an existential crisis. Lately, he just wants to be alone with his thots.
Have you heard about the dyslexic devil worshipper?
He sold his soul to Santa.
What does a sex offender and Santa have in common?
They will come down your "chimney" tonight.
What do Call of Duty and Al-Qaeda goals have in common?
You’ve got to get more than one down.
What do renovators and lesbians have in common?
They're both not interested in exposed wood, apparently.
How do you think they found out cows produce milk?
Two kids having fun in the barn.
Would you rather have ten babies in one trash can or one baby in ten trash cans?
3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment!