Have jokes

Fireman

20 views ·

There's a kid with loads of new firemen equipment and sees a fire engine go past and the kid asks the firemen, "Come have a look at my new gear." So the firemen go look at his gear, so then the kid says:

"I've got a helmet, a big jacket, and an oxygen tank, and a little wheelbarrow for my gear."

Firemen say: "Why is there a rope tied around a cat's balls?"

The kid says, "So I can have a siren nnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn"

Toddler

10 views ·

I walked up to a group of moms having a conversation while waiting to pick up their kids from day care. They were using cutesy words like "ankle biters", "rug rats," and other terms I've heard parents use before when describing their toddlers.

I thought I'd chime in; as it turns out, "carpet muncher" doesn't mean what I thought it does.

Comeback

287 views ·

Bully: Hey virgin!

Victim: I'm not a virgin, just ask your sister.

Bully: I don't have a sister, dumbass.

Victim: Just wait nine months.

Motorcycle

1 view ·

When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.

See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.

Hamster

12 views ·

What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common?

Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.

Ronaldo

6 views ·

Without Ronaldo, United would have been: - Eliminated from the UCL in groups! - 13th in the league!

Without Messi, PSG would have been: - Still 1st in the league. - Better chance at beating RM in the UCL.

Who's supposed to be the goat?

Nemo

If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.

Category

2 views ·

Why does this category seem to have the most retold and recycled jokes on this website?

Dentist

9 views ·

Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”

Patient: “OK.”

Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife!”

Sex

6 views ·

If a gay person is vegan, how does he have sex? He will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throat.