Have jokes

Word

2 views ·

Whoever stole my Microsoft Office account, I'll make you pay. You have my word!

Life

5 views ·

Literally every movie:

"I love you." "I love you, too."

My life:

My 'friends': "Hey, Hailey likes you!" Him: "Wtf, I have a girlfriend, sorry not sorry." His friends: Spreads the word throughout the whole goddamn country. 😶

Dog

1,730 views ·

Right, I have a dog and his name is Syndrome, and whenever he is good, I go "Good Syndrome," but whenever he is naughty, I go "Down Syndrome."

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  • Son

    12 views ·

    I used to have a son, but he died the same way Eric Clapton's son died. For inspiration.

    Chess

    96 views ·

    In chess, why does the queen have more mobility than the king?

    Because the chessboard looks like a kitchen floor.

    Abortion

    262 views ·

    In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.

    You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.

    President

    64 views ·

    Joe Biden is the first president in history to have a vice president on record claiming they believed sexual harassment allegations against him.

    I don't know about you, but I think that's a pretty big elephant in the room!

    Account

    2 views ·

    I wish I could follow you, though.

    But you need an account so I could follow you, but you don't have one. :'(

    Giraffe

    13 views ·

    Did you know the giraffe’s hooves are the size of dinner plates? Too bad they would have nothing to put on them!

    Death

    1 view ·

    When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"