Have jokes
If you’re having a bad day, just punch an orphan.
Who are they going to tell? Their parents?
Like if you have a dick, or you are an orphan.
What did Osama have?
Two Boeings and a dream.
What do a crippled person's legs and the Twin Towers have in common? They both went down and never came back up.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They are both meat substitutes.
You also have to learn to say no. For example: "Would you like a piece of cake?" "No, I'd like two."
"Police control! Have you been drinking?"
"Go Pikachu! Thunder Clap!"
"Did you just throw a hamster at my head?"
I have to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.
You have thin feet that people think you were a duck.
When my grandpa was 65, he decided to run a mile a day to keep fit.
He's 70 now, and we have no idea where he is.
I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.
Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.
What do orphans and apples have in common?
Only one gets picked.
My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.
So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"
What is the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
John walked into Pat at the barn. He was dancing naked in front of a tractor. John said, "Hey, Pat, what are you doing?"
Pat said, "Well, me and the wife have been having a bit of trouble in bed, so I went to a therapist, and he said I should do something sexy to a tractor (attract her)."
Guys, do not follow Tom, he is super inappropriate. I did a 48-hour face reveal and this is what he said:
Tom 13 minutes ago Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ur so cute I wanna fuck your pussy so hard you look amazing I luv ur face come have sex with me mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
So the other day, I was looking up zodiac sign stuff, you know, I'm a real big fan of that, and I come across this thing and it’s like all zodiac signs have their own hairstyles... except Cancer.
Your dad? Oh wait, you don’t have that!