In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.
You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.
Running out of time to cut the grass, may have to cut it short.
Your so skinny that when your driving you have to put the seat forward to reach the pedals 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion "What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job." replied the Priest.
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, next I can become Bishop." said the Priest.
"Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi.
"If I work real hard and do a good job as Bishop, it's possible for me to become an Archbishop." said the Priest.
"O.K., then what?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest, beginning to get a bit exasperated replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal."
"And then?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope."
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Good grief!" shouted the Priest. "What do you expect me to become, GOD?"
"Well," said the Rabbi, "One of our boys made it!"
Why does sisters have to be in a relationship because you don’t have to worry about your car
Everything is so racist these days, you can't even say black paint anymore. You now have to say "Tyrone can you please paint that wall"
Johnny is on his way to school when he comes across a frog, with a sudden inspirational thought he picks the frog up, shoves a fire cracker up the frogs arse, lights the cracker and blows the frog to smithereens. Now at school the teacher asks the class :" Has any body got any thing for show and tell this morning"? Johnny waves his arm in the air and is virtually screaming "Me mis me mis me mis". "Ok Johnny, What do you have to share with the class today"? Little Johnny then says " Well on my way to school today I shoved a cracker up a frogs arse" the teacher interrupts and says " It's not arse Johnny, It's rectum". Johnny then says " Fucking oath it wrecked ; him'.
If a blonde and a brunette jump off a building who would hit the ground 1st? The brunette because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions! ⬆️⬇️➡️⬅️
A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.” Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me”
When a 68 year old teacher says: I am going to tackle an intruder if i have to!
Me: Oh hell nah
How is toilet paper recycled?
Easier than you would think, but first they have to process the crap out of it.
why do orphans have to have customized phones:because there aren't home buttons
Lady: Can I lick your balls? Me: Ummmmm, Ok? Lady: grabs ball sack and licks my balls Me: I gonna have to clean these now Lady: Let me do that Me: No thank you! I have to use these baseballs for practice!
In my mother's generation, they grew up with Wonder Woman. In ours, we have to wonder if she's a woman.
the terrorists said over the inter com we re coming up to our destination so we cant go over it we cant go under we have to go through it
knock knock whos their boo boo who well you dont have to cry about it gary
One day my sister was making hotdogs. My sister ask me if I want some I said no then my sister ask my friend, and he always said no. Then my sister said I have to eat it plain with no flavor we have no ketchup, mustard or onions. My friend said I got something to give it flavor my sister ok. My sister left the kitchen to get something. I ask my friend what are you going to do then he took the hotdog bread open it and run is penis all around, and put some white cream that came out of his penis. I put the hotdogs on the bread then my sister came back My sister came back put hotdogs on the hotdog bread. I told my sister the hotdogs are ready she ate them I ask how was the hotdogs. My sister said I don’t know what flavor is this, but it is very tasty.
There are 3 men: an American, a French and an Italian who have to take a trip and take the plane. The American puts his hand out the window and says: "We are in America, I touched the Statue of Liberty", the French says: "We are in France I touched the Eiffel Tower", the Italian says: "We are in Italy, I touched the garbage!"
what happens when theres ten people innone house and they all have to shit and theres one bathroom?
its a motherfucking shitz party
yo mamma so old that when she farts we have to dust again
