Hate jokes

What is an orphan's most hated baseball team? The Padres.

I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”

– Rodney Dangerfield

Why does Hitler hate golf?

He would end up in a bunker!

What movie do orphans hate? Full House 🏠

Why do orphans hate family-size candy?

Because they can't share it with their family.

Why do sisters hate you?

Because you're their favorite stepbrother :P

Why does an orphan hate the ending of Finding Nemo?

Nemo goes back to his father.

This is how big cats were named.

"I HATE BIG CATS. THAT ONE IS A LIAR, THAT ONE IS A CHEATER. THE ONE IS A POO-MA."

"Lion. Cheetah. Puma. You're getting a promotion."

I hate stairs, they're always up to something.

Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.

I hate it when ever I bring a girl over, my parents don't care, but when I bring one of my friends that's a boy, they're like, "Keep the door open," and I'm gay.

Like if you hate going to school.

If you hate pedophiles, grow up.

People: You're ugly.

Me: Ok.

People: I hate you.

Me: Cool, IDC.

People: You're annoying.

Me: Good for me.

People: BTS is dumb.

Me: I'll give you 5 seconds to run!

Why do orphans hate Dom Toretto?

Because they hate how he cares about family.

I hate wearing a mask in public.

Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "Your hair color is fabulous." Woman: "Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store."

Man: "You look like a dream." Woman: "Go back to sleep."

Man: "I can tell that you want me." Woman: "Yes, I want you to leave."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: "Do not enter. -OR- Stop."

Man: "Your body is like a temple." Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?" Woman: "I hate you."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Roses are red, I hate snitches, You talk a lot of game for a guy with 3 inches.

Blood is red.

Bruises are blue. I forget the rest... um, I hate you...?

I hate when people make jokes about the Twin Towers.

My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.