Hate jokes
I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
What is an orphan's most hated baseball team? The Padres.
What movie do orphans hate? Full House 🏠
Why do orphans hate family-size candy?
Because they can't share it with their family.
Why do orphans hate geometry? Cuz it reminds them that their parents are poley-gone.
Why do sisters hate you?
Because you're their favorite stepbrother :P
I hate stairs, they're always up to something.
Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.
I hate it when ever I bring a girl over, my parents don't care, but when I bring one of my friends that's a boy, they're like, "Keep the door open," and I'm gay.
I hate when my class want to play hangman. Not because they hang a man, but because I get jealous.
Roses are red, I hate snitches, You talk a lot of game for a guy with 3 inches.
Like if you hate going to school.
Why do orphans hate Dom Toretto?
Because they hate how he cares about family.
I hate wearing a mask in public.
People: You're ugly.
Me: Ok.
People: I hate you.
Me: Cool, IDC.
People: You're annoying.
Me: Good for me.
People: BTS is dumb.
Me: I'll give you 5 seconds to run!
Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "Your hair color is fabulous." Woman: "Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store."
Man: "You look like a dream." Woman: "Go back to sleep."
Man: "I can tell that you want me." Woman: "Yes, I want you to leave."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: "Do not enter. -OR- Stop."
Man: "Your body is like a temple." Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?" Woman: "I hate you."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
How do you put an end to MeToo? Just fill those combined showers with transgender women.
Why does Kurt Cobain hate his brother?
Because he's always calling shotgun.
Blood is red.
Bruises are blue. I forget the rest... um, I hate you...?
Do you know why I hate pedophiles?
They are fucking immature kids!