Hate jokes

I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”

– Rodney Dangerfield

What movie do orphans hate? Full House 🏠

What is an orphan's most hated baseball team? The Padres.

Why do orphans hate family-size candy?

Because they can't share it with their family.

Why do orphans hate Ted Bundy? Cause he's the most wanted.

Why do orphans hate geometry? Cuz it reminds them that their parents are poley-gone.

Why do sisters hate you?

Because you're their favorite stepbrother :P

This is how big cats were named.

"I HATE BIG CATS. THAT ONE IS A LIAR, THAT ONE IS A CHEATER. THE ONE IS A POO-MA."

"Lion. Cheetah. Puma. You're getting a promotion."

I hate stairs, they're always up to something.

Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.

Roses are red, I hate snitches, You talk a lot of game for a guy with 3 inches.

I hate it when ever I bring a girl over, my parents don't care, but when I bring one of my friends that's a boy, they're like, "Keep the door open," and I'm gay.

Like if you hate going to school.

If you hate pedophiles, grow up.

People: You're ugly.

Me: Ok.

People: I hate you.

Me: Cool, IDC.

People: You're annoying.

Me: Good for me.

People: BTS is dumb.

Me: I'll give you 5 seconds to run!

Why do orphans hate Dom Toretto?

Because they hate how he cares about family.

I hate wearing a mask in public.

Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "Your hair color is fabulous." Woman: "Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store."

Man: "You look like a dream." Woman: "Go back to sleep."

Man: "I can tell that you want me." Woman: "Yes, I want you to leave."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: "Do not enter. -OR- Stop."

Man: "Your body is like a temple." Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?" Woman: "I hate you."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Blood is red.

Bruises are blue. I forget the rest... um, I hate you...?

I hate when people make jokes about the Twin Towers.

My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.