Hate jokes

What does Johnny Depp hate about driving a car?

He can't drink and drive.

Did you hear that Michael Jackson once got food poisoning?

He ate 12-year-old nuts.

Why do people hate abortion jokes?

It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.

I just saw people writing "Zoophile," "Ailurophile," and "Dendrophilia" in their bios. I thought this was cool, but when I wrote "Necrophile" and "Pedophile," I don't know why people started hating me as if I did something wrong. I was just trying to be cool like them, man.

I hate when my brother dates other people.

Just kidding! 😵😵😵😵

You know what I hate about rape?

Keeping it a secret.

I'd love it if you killed yourself, but Hitler killed himself and people still hate him...

You aren't alone. If you ever need to chat, I'm here. From one person to another. I hate this condition. I wish we didn't struggle.

I hated church growing up as a child. It was always standing, kneeling, sitting, standing, kneeling, sitting. I wish the priest would just pick a position and f*** me!

I hate it when people are at my house and ask, "Do you have a bathroom?" What answer are they expecting? "No, we pee in the yard?"

Stop hating on pedophiles. At least they're good babysitters.

If I smiled one centimeter each time I watched someone I hated die, I'd look like the Cheshire Cat.

I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say "black paint."

You have to say, "Leroy, please paint that wall!"

Me: Hey, how are you?

Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3

Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?

Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.

Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!

Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)

Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!

Me: Ok, and their names?

Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!

Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)

Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.

Me: Ok, see you soon! :3

Me now hates my life. :)

How do you put an end to MeToo? Just fill those combined showers with transgender women.

Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.

My friends hate when I make skeleton jokes. I guess I need to put more backbone into it.

There's 3 things I hate.

1. Jokes

2. Lists

3. Irony.

What is an orphan's most hated baseball team? The Padres.

What movie do orphans hate? Full House 🏠