I’m happy that i named my dog i know what you did. Its funny to see how much people get scared when i call him.

It was September 10, 2001 when I stayed up watching TV shows. I woke up late to work at The World Trade Center. But it was burning. I said out loud, " I was late! I’m happy I was late to work! I mean… I could’ve di-" I was then beaten and bruised by the emergency services.

When I nailed the quiz my teacher wasn’t very happy. I wasn’t either with all those paper cuts.

oof.

why dont vegetarians moan during sex?

Because they dont want to admit that meat makes them happy

A retired george w bush is eating a donut 7/11 and looks at it "im so happy i did that’ a guy over hears the conversation and says “your happy you bought that donut. Oh haha I would be too i love donuts!” george w bush then says “oh hahaha you caught me” and then says “you must of heard me wrong i said, im so happy i did 9/11”

What is the difference between a human being and a tree 🌲? A human can walk and a tree 🌳 can not walk

Why do only guys have fun? There’s only the word ‘penis’ in happiness

Is depression sadness or happiness? I call it a fun time

A young innocent little girl is playing hopscotch and she says you step on a crack you brake you’re mamas back and then she step on a crack so her mothers back proceeded to brake slowly then she said you step on a line you brake your dadas spine but the neighbours spine broke and in happiness the thought to be previouse father gets in his car and drive through the garage door…

so my best friend’s boyfriend broke up with her and she started to cry.So I’d told her a ‘single’ joke then she said," Go and f…ing die you insensitive bitch!". I later said," ugh, fine as your BFF I will break his body for you-happy now?". She said," sniff yes".

Did you know Stephen Hawkins died in a game the game was happy wheels

An elderly was happy to finally see his wife again and was packing. He told everyone about the trip. “I will see her in one week” A week later he died

If I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn because they are Beautiful, Majestic, Sparkly, Bright, Gods, They create Joy and Happiness everywhere they go. Unicorns made my life better when I got to know them more, ^-^ they filled my life with more Happiness, I believe in the Unicorns and they’ll believe in me, I am not a Unicorn although I am the Princess of the Unicorn Land but if I could be any creature I would be a Unicorn! :P

What Do You Sing On a Dead Person’s Birthday? Happy Death-Day To You

Two guys were walking down the street and one of the guys told his friend he could talk any Blond in the world into giving him a Blowjob, any Blond! So the guy bet him 20 bucks and pointed to this cute blond sitting on the side of the road and said alright let’s see it! The other guy walks up to the cutie and says, Hi my names Dave and my Doctor just told me that if I didn’t get a Blowjob from a Blond within three hours that the disease I have will kill me in 'oh less see now 22 minutes! She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said “You mean I could save you from dying right now?” Then she says pull it out! 10 minutes later the two men were laughing and patting old Dave on the back when his friend noticed the blond sitting in the alley bawling her eyes out! So he walks over to her and says I would have thought you would be so happy for saving my friends life?! So she looks up him just crying her eyes out even worse and says" I could have saved my dad!"

You I didn’t see you there the pizza place is hunted bad so you are scared 😱😱😱😱 and so you run and you see your grandma and you were happy again forever and ever ha ha so funny 😁 The end or is it bye-bye

Just to get things straight I’m NOT I REPEAT NOT RACIST but this joke goes out to all the people who talk about other people with darker skin than the other person.

Bully: your skin is so black and ugly.( for the 5th time ) Me: I’m so happy you love my skin color! Bully: ew no I don’t! Me: then why do you keep talking about it?

so my best friend’s boyfriend broke up with her and she started to cry.So I’d told her a ‘single’ joke then she said," Go and fucking die you insensitive bitch!". I later said," ugh, fine as your BFF I will break his body for you-happy now?". She said," sniff yes".

So one time this really rich guy’s son’s birthday was coming up. So he asks his son what he wants. So the son says “can i have pink ping pong balls.” The father asks why and his son stays silent. The dad decides to get it for him. The dad doesn’t see the son ever do anything with them. A year later the dad asked him what he wants the son then says “can I have 10000 pink ping pong balls”. The dad then responds with “son why, I gave you some last year and this whole year you did not play with them.” The son, yet again stays silent. The Dad was reluctant to do it but did it anyways. Now a few years later the son is now 20 and his rich dad and him have not seen each other in a while. So the dad decides to celebrate his sons birthday. He asks his son once again what he wants and his son says “can I have 10000 pink ping pong balls.” His dad screams “ SON WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THESE BALLS!!! I NEVER SEE YOU WITH THEM AND YET YOU STILL WANT MORE. WHAT THE HELL!!!” The son yet again stays silent. The dad, though a little pissed, decides to buy As much of the pink ping pong balls that he sees and gives it to his son. The son is happy, but does not do anything. Now after a while the sones about 30, and he and the father are more distant than ever. The father gets a call from a hospital telling him that his son could die from a disease that only 2 people survived. So the father goes there and starts crying and grieving. Then he asks his son what he would like before he dies. The son then says “can you buy me all of the factory’s that produce pink ping pong balls.” His dad doesn’t question because he is to sad to and buys him the only factory that produces pink ping pong balls. Then the doctors put him in a wheelchair and follow the dad and they take him to one of pink ping pong ball factory’s and the dad says “okay son I fulfilled what you wanted. But what have you done and what do you plan to do with all of these pink ping pong balls .” The son ,ignoring the question says “ this is magnificent. My final wish is that I stay here overnight.” So the doctors and the father decide to and everyone goes home to sleep. The next day, everyone returned to the factory to find all the pink ping pong balls gone and the son. The father was sad but a little angry and decided to search his whole house to find pink ping pong balls but doesn’t find any and they search the whole factory for the son and the balls. And soon they end up searching the whole earth and never found him.

I’m happy 😃 🏐⚾️⚾️🥏🏈🏀🏐

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