Happiness Jokes

I can tell a joke :`)

Twinkle Twinkle there's a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way I will not be seen again Are you happy I am dead Now you made it to the end

What does the depression person say to the happy person? Damn I wish I was on the stuff your on lol.

I ran into a dwarf and he said: Well, I’m not happy Then which one are you?

Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually."

little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor

I told my mom I'm happy and she said: "I didn't know you were gay."

Why was the slave so happy? Because he got his masters degree

One day a man buys a rope to suicide, but his friend stops him. They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.

what do Bob Ross's painting and the orphanage have in common. They're both filled with happy little accidents............

Twinkle Twinkle there’s a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way I will not be seen again Are you happy I am dead Now you made it to the end

The IRS came to this mans house one day and told him to come in the next morning to talk about all the money thats been coming in and out of his bank account. So the man though maybe I need to get a lawyer. So he and his lawyer get to the IRS's office and sit down and the agent said there has been a large amount of money flowing in and out of your account and we wanted to know if you knew anything about it. The man says yes I do, I'm a gambler. The agent says you gamble with that much money. He man says yes, I'll give you an example. Alright I bet you 5,000$ that I can bite my left eye. Agent says alright deal. The man takes out his fake eye and bites it. Then the agents says that not fair. The man says I'll let you get your money back or even more, I bet you 7,500$ I can bite my right eye. He agents thinking I didn't see him come in with a guide dog or a stick so the agent says deal. The man takes out his false teeth and bites his right eye. The agent then says that's not fair. The man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. The agent says that's impossible you've got a deal. The man starts peeing and pees all over his desk and the agent says I got you, he's laughing and happy that he final beat him, but then the lawyer has his hand on his face and the agent asked what's wrong with you and the lawyer replies the man bet me 100,000$ he could piss on your desk and you'd just love it.

I got in a car crash with a dwarf one day. He came storming out, and glared at me. I lowered my window and called out "So, I'm guessing you're not happy?".

Why was the orphan happy that he got in trouble at school?

Because the principal was going to call his parents

A man asked another man if he was happy with his marriage, he replied," Yes I'm very happy. We go on date night every week. The other man asked when? She goes on wednesday and I go on thursday

Michael Jackson is happy when there are twenty eight year olds

*guy feels something on his back* “oh god, please let that be a rifle” “Nope. I’m just real happy to see you”

if gay means happy then i am now straight

Ever heard of account stealing? Ever heard of someone by the name of "#SHUT THE HELL UP GWEN DON'T EVEN DATE PRINCE ON FACE BOOK!!!!!!!! I HATE IT WHEN UR HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?"