Happiness jokes
Happy New Year! 🍆🍑🍆🍑
My dad told me a new version of a happy birthday song:
Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you look like a monkey, and you smell like one too!
No offense to anyone reading this on their birthday.
One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.
They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.
Are you feeling down? Because I’d happily feel you up.
I told my mom I'm happy and she said: "I didn't know you were gay."
It's my bday
A man had moved to a new country with his dog and with basic understanding of the language. One day he heard people talking about a place for dogs, so he took his dog there, telling them he wanted his dog to be groomed.
The man behind the counter responded with "yes happy dog, come back in little hours." So the man left and came back a couple hours later. When he asked about his dog, he was given a box of jerky. He found out "Happy Dog" was the name of the place where dogs become food.
Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"
The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"
A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"
Sister: Hey sis, how are you today?
Me: Oh, good, you?
Sister: Good, 'cause I heard you finally got a good living life.
Why was the orphan happy that he got in trouble at school?
Because the principal was going to call his parents.
Life's full of ups and downs :D <3
A man asked another man if he was happy with his marriage. He replied, "Yes, I'm very happy. We go on date night every week." The other man asked, "When?" He goes on Wednesday and I go on Thursday.
Luigi was dying and had two sons. Bruno was handsome, but Alberto was ugly.
He said, "Maria, tell me, is Alberto my son?"
"Yes, Luigi," his wife said, and he died happily.
Wife said, "Thank God he didn’t ask about the other one!"
What time do you think dogs are not happy?
Bulldogs.
Guy feels something on his back.
“Oh God, please let that be a rifle.”
“Nope. I’m just real happy to see you.”
Life has ups and downs, and they had downs.
Why is the orphan happy when he wakes up from a coma?
Because there is a family reunion.
The orphan turned 18, but he was happy because he didn't have to pay rent to his parents.
I bought this happy birthday card for this orphan.
To: The Orphan
From: ______
If mom saw you, she would die and be happy because of you being ugly.
Me running from the table where the Emo table with a happy meal.