Hair jokes
Yo, hairline go so far back they got their own fashion type.
Your hairline goes so far back that even God said, "I learned about it in my days."
What do you call a ball with no hair? A Mexican ball.
James Charles is more straight than your hairline.
You're so bald, Bob Hope would refer to you as "grandpa."
What do you call a mammal that has no hair?
Cancer.
People say, "I like your cut G." Which is when you get a fresh cut. But I guess when you go bald, we can say, "Like your forehead, G."
I know it's really, really, really, really bad.
Your hairline's so far back even Bill Nye the Science Guy couldn't use photosynthesis to fix it.
Why are eagles 🦅 bald? Because they don’t wear wigs.
I hate it when people think I'm a boy because I have short hair. I mean, I'm gay, what do you expect?
What do you call a bunny jumping backwards?
A receding hairline.
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
So you can tell them apart from the feminists.
Did you hear about the story of the husband who told his wife she’d look sexier with her hair back?
Apparently, that’s not a nice thing to say to cancer patients.
A young man cracked a joke about dementia to his friend on the bus. The old man sitting next to him politely asked, “Can you stop making jokes about terminal diseases?”
He replied, “Yes, I cancer.” Then he cracked tumor.
EMINEM: His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy.
WebMD: Cancer.
What constellation has no hair at all?
Cancer.
Puerto Rican teen: I'm a waste, a failure, NUNCA LO PODRA ASER (I'll never be able to do it).
The mother: AI NINO (OH CHILD).
The teen: QUE? (WHAT?)
The mother: NO TE PONGA CON ESTA MIELDA OTRAVES! (DON'T START WITH THIS SHIT AGAIN!)
The teen: I CAN'T DO SHIT RIGHT MAMA!
The mother: OOOHHH YEAH WELL TU SI PUEDES ABLAR MIELDA DE TI, I BOTAR BASURA! (YOU SURE CAN TALK CRAP ABOUT YOURSELF AND THROW OUT THE TRASH.)
The teen: QUAL (WHICH).
The mother: MADRE DE DIOS (MOTHER OF GOD).
The teen: AVIA UNA NEGRA I OTRA BLANKA (THERE WAS A BLACK ONE AND WHITE ONE).
*A phone buzzes.*
The teen: Whose phone is that, ma?
Unknown: MR. PRESIDENT IF YOU TAKE AWAY THE CONFEDERATE FLAG HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHO THE BAD WHITE PEOPLE ARE?
*Runs to bag, opens white one and sticks hand in.*
The teen: HAIR GEL
Yo mama's hairline got so many peaks and valleys, you thought you were looking at the Grand Canyon.
Rapunzel's hair is longer than your dad's existence.
Jada Smith: Grow some balls!
Me: Grow some hair!
Cancer jokes really grow on you--unlike the patients' hair.
Your hairline got suspended, it's not coming back.