https://www.facebook.com/groups/titanstwistedtales/
I went to the National Redhead Meeting yesterday.
Not a soul in sight.
3 cowboys are at a fire talking about the best things they have done.
Cowboy 1 says ́ ́ I have taken out a whole group of raiders with my bare hands ́ ́
Cowboy 2 says ́ ́ I have killed a herd of bulls with my thumb ́ ́
Cowboy 3 chuckles as he mixes the fire with his dick.
wow this group is a joke like my life.
I was in a terrorist a famous terrorist group. No, not the Taliban. We called ourselves the Talabam.
There's four people on a roof: a Mexican, an Asian, a black guy, and a white guy. The Mexican walks over to the ledge and says, "This is for my people," and jumps off. The Asian also walks over to the ledge and says, "This is for my people," and jumps off. Then, the black guy walks over to the edge and says, "This is for my people," and pushes the white guy off.
Me: What do you call a group of retards? Friend: Down town? Me: Nope, target practice.
So there was this kid being bullied by four other kids. I decided to step in.
He didn’t stand a chance against the five of us.
You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time your friends have a group picture.
So Jesus has been nailed to the cross. On the first day, he starts to moan, "Peter, Peter".
Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill.
On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, "Peter, Peter".
Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes.
On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, "Peter, Peter".
Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for, must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus, and says "Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important"?
Jesus- "Peter, I can see your house from here".
What do you call a bunch of people near each other?
The start of the Hollacoast.
I joined the military for the group showers.
Yo mama so fat, when she joined Team 10...
It became TEAM, 10, TONS!
What’s the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds?
There’s twenty of them.
Two's company, cheese a crowd!
What gang was Stephen Hawking in? The Crips.
A pedophile lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with "Hey girls, would you like some candy?" They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says "God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes."
What’s the best thing about 28 year olds?
There’s 20 of them.
A German soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, "What happened?" and the soldier replies, "Hail hit her."
What do you call a group of ethnically diverse disabled people? Seasoned vegetables.
