Grave jokes
What does Batman have that Superman doesn't?
The ability to visit his biological parents' grave.
Why do we call them dead bodies? Nobody says "alive bodies!" Like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG IT'S FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones, though." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on, husband, help me with the bodies." If it's a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"
Say this out loud: "Gabe Itch."
Memes
Yo mama was so fat, the Earth was flat before they put your mama in a grave.
I saw a petition on replacing gravestones with trees so it will be a beautiful forest.
Son: Where's grandma?
Dad: You're adopted.
Son: Where are my real parents?
Dad: >:D They are dead, now come to their grave and sleep there.
We're gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
They’re draining the economy doooown!
They’ve spent our budget on weed
and lube to spill Jack’s seed.
They’ve ruined our wonderful town!
We're gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
They have no moralityyyy.
They’re spreading degeneracy.
We ain't what we used to be.
We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water,
but then they stopped at the tippy top to smoke some marijuana.
They went to the store, and got some more, to fetch a “few” more beers.
Next day they came, ran off again, repeat for 24 years.
We’re gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill!
They’ve banked off buying boooze!
They’ll drink and sell the price
at the original times thrice.
Corruption wins, the avg. folk’ll loseee.
We’re gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
Their kids’re in the business tooo!
They’re draining all our banks.
Give 'em well deserved spanks.
We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill.
Jack and Jill Netflix and chilled and made a grave mistaake.
What a blunder, there was no rubber, now they’re a house of eeiiight!
A bolt went off, they opened shop to resell their porn and lean.
It all went swell, but for us, well, we’re now an oligarchy!
WE’LL KILL OL' JACK AND JILL!
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's grave?
"Rust in peace."
If you die a virgin, then where does your v-card go? Does it go with you to the grave, or does your mortician take it from you?
20 years later
Johnny: Hey dad.
Dad: Yea?
Johnny: Fuck you, I ain't comin' back to your grave in 16 years, then ima come back, BITCH!
Dad: Doing the same thing I did to you and your mother, ay? I deserve it :( ;O not real...NOT A FUCKING ALL.
Johnny: Yea you kinda fucking do.
Dad:...
How do Ephippians celebrate their kids' first birthday?
Put a flower on their gravestone.
Memes
Community
www.Stand ready for my arrival, Worm. You were given orders, you were given time. You were given more leeway than most, and yet I find this planet unprepared for the arrival of our Viltrum Empire. The Empire anticipated your resistance, which is why they sent me. I am Conquest, and I am your last chance to fulfill your duty. [Mid-Fight] The truth is... I want you to resist. I'm not here to save you. I'm not here to s… Read more
Stand ready for my arrival, Worm. You were given orders, you were given time. You were given more leeway than most, and yet I find this planet unprepared for the arrival of our Viltrum Empire. The Empire anticipated your resistance, which is why they sent me. I am Conquest, and I am your last chance to fulfill your duty.
[Mid-Fight]
The truth is... I want you to resist. I'm not here to save you. I'm not here to spr… Read more
Once upon a time, in the vast virtual realm of the internet, there existed a website called Worst Jokes Ever. It was a place where users from all corners of the world shared their most cringe-worthy jokes. But behind the scenes, there lurked a powerful, elderly moderator known only as Dagger.
Dagger was an enigma, stalking the website's virtual alleys like a stealthy alligator. His ban hammer struck with ruthless pr… Read more