Grave jokes

I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"

When I die, I’ll die in a trash can.

Kid: But, Mom, I don't want to see Grandma.

Mom: Shut up and keep digging.

How do you know when you're near Wacko Jacko's grave? When 'Thriller' is out and about.

Why don’t coffins have Wi-Fi?

Because they don’t want people to be so ‘connected’ while they’re trying to rest in peace.

Other girls be like, "I want a 6ft guy", meanwhile I want to be 6ft under. 😃👍

So I went to my friend's funeral today. As we were all leaving, a kid put a "get well soon" card next to my friend's grave. 'Poor kid'.

It's a grave mistake to talk badly about the death.

There once was a man named Dave who dug up a prostitutes grave, she was as moldy as shit and missing a tit, but think of all the money he saved

I saw a petition on replacing gravestones with trees so it will be a beautiful forest.

Son: Where's grandma?

I was gardening and found a chest full of blood... I forgot I was in the cemetery.