Grandmother

Grandmother Jokes

Jantje goes on a walk with his grandmother. Jantje sees 1 dollar on the street and picks it up. The grandmother says: Hey, jantje! No picking up things from the floor! They are ugly and bad! Then they keep walking. The grandmother slips and asks jantje to help her stand up. Jantje anwsers: No! Everything on the ground is ugly and bad.

a boy walks in on his parents having sex."What are you doing to my mother?!",the boy screams at his father,and runs out of the room.soon,the parents hear screams coming from the father's mother's room.They both go running.They see the little boy pumping into his grandmother like anything."What are you doing to my mother?!",the father screams."It's not so easy when it's your mother is it?",says the boy

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My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his Grandmothers nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still waring them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.

A boy was terrible at writing sentences so his teacher gave him an assignment to help with that. The boy was to go home, write five sentences and return to school the next day. When he went home, he took a notepad and a pen and went to his dad for help. His dad was in a very important business call so he angrily shouted at the child “Shut up you Donkey!” The boy noted down that sentence. He next went to his mom who assumed that he wanted to play video games so she said “No my dear, tomorrow.” That was his second sentence. For the third sentence he went to his older brother who was watching football where someone scored a goal so he was jumping up and down yelling “Goal! Goal!” For the fourth sentence he went to his sister who was singing “Spider-Man Spider-Man!”. For the last sentence he went to his grandmother who was cleaning the toilet and singing “Under the toilet, under the toilet”. He went to school the next day and his teacher asked him to tell her the sentences. The boy said, “Shut up you Donkey!” The teacher got angry after hearing this and asked the boy, “Do you want me to slap you?” The boy said, “No my dear, tomorrow.” This made the teacher so angry that she slapped the boy. Immediately he started jumping up and down yelling “Goal! Goal!” The teacher dragged him to the principal’s office as she was fed up with him. The principal asked the boy what his name was to which he replied by singing “ Spider-Man Spider-Man!” She asked him where he lived so he sang “Under the toilet, under the toilet”.

a little girl said one day " grandmas gonna die tonight". the next morning the girl's grandmother's body was found. that day she said again " Grandpas gonna die tonight" sure enough, the girl's grandfather died and his body was discovered the next morning. that day she said " daddy's gonna die tonight." the girls father was terrified. he lay shaking the entire night. somehow, he survived until morning. his wife came into the room crying. he asked her why she was upset and she said that the postman had died last night.

Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding she’d say: “you’re next”. So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.

Wolf looks like a fox It has the sharpest claws It has a bushy tail To eat it doesn't fail It has a coat of red My grandmother has said It hunts for search of food It is never never good

Mom:Dont forget to unload the dishwasher

Mom:did you finish ur homework?

Mom:We are going to ur grandmothers house for thanksgiving

Mom:Dad and i talked we are getting a new car next month

Son:u are?? oh my gosh thank you

Mom:No i was just making sure you were getting my texts

Son:that was cruel

One day little Jonny needs to use the bathroom. His mom is in there so he went in to use it and asked his mom what is that between your legs. His mom told him that is her bush. Then the next day the same thing happened but with his dad. He asked his dad what is that between his legs. He said my snake. The same thing happened one more time except with his grandmother. Little Jonny asked grandma what is on her chest. She said my headlights. One night little Jonny caught his parents doing something naughty. Then he said grandmaw grand maw turn on your head lights daddy snake is trying to get into mommy's bush.

Your grandmother died cuz she fell on the highest floor of the hotel your grandfather died cuz he got shot by saving your mother if he didn't save your mother you wouldn't be here You grew up in a world full of virus you wanted the virus to be gone there's only one way But you have to know it I can't tell it for you Your mother got the Covid-19 you prayed and prayed all night hoping that she would be okay the next day the doctors went to your house without your mother you asked "Where is my mother?!?!" The doctors said "Your mother is gone,so we came here to tell you" the doctors left. Anither hour you were thinking while crying "Why was my pray not working?,Lord why'd you let me down?" You searched on Google "How to bring back the dead" the Google workers declined it.your father left you cuz he loved another girl Your brothers are still with you but what do they get the virus? Who will be with you? Don't forget Jesus is still there for you don't give up keep going and you will succeed soon you will find your own family and beat the coronavirus