You know the Twin Towers employees were supposed to meet a good football team. Instead, they just met the Jets.
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands. (This joke is good because it never gets old)
I traded my sister for a slice of pizza. Damn, that pizza was good!
Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.
Like This For Good Luck!
I think it was wrong for that school shooter to end his life at the scene.
He could have done some good by becoming some lonely lifer's bottom.
What makes Mrs Grape 🍇 a good mother?
Raisin her kids
"Just killed a woman, feeling good."
- Tommyinnit
Anybody remember 9/11? Cause I sure do, and oh boy was my father a good pilot!💥
Hope this is good!
Me: "What are you doing??"
Bully: "Where's my nan's urn?!?"
Me: "I don't know."
Bully: "Tell me!! *says worthless shit*"
Me: "Next time you're looking for the urn, don't bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so fucking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family's face after!"
Don't bully kids.
Asian kid : I’m not a doctor, and I’m not good at math. Me : That’s what I call a orphan!
Q:Why is it good being an orphan
A:Because the family sized bag is all theres
Why are cheetahs not good at hiding?They’re always spotted
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One's a good year, and one's a great year.
Why are pedophiles good at playing guitar?
Because they are good at fingering A minor.
What do you call a dinosaur with good eyesight............do you think he saw us
One day Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking a cigar. Johnny said, "Can I have a puff?"
Grandpa said, "Can your dick touch your ass?"
Johnny said, "No, then that's your answer."
Later that day, Johnny saw his grandpa drinking a drink. Johnny said, "Can I have a sip?"
Grandpa said the same thing, "Can your dick touch your ass?"
Johnny said, "No, then that's your answer."
Later that night, Johnny was eating some cookies in the kitchen. Grandpa said, "Hi son, can I have a cookie?"
Johnny said, "Can your dick touch your ass?"
Grandpa said, "Yes."
Johnny said, "Good, go fuck yourself!"
What's the difference between a good TV show and a gay man?
One makes your day and one makes your whole week.
My job is so amazing.
Today a man asked me to check his balance, so I pushed him over. His balance isn't good.
