Little Timmy walked in on his parents having sex. His parents look at him in fear. Little Timmy asks; "Mom, Dad, what are you doing?" The mom replies with, "We are playing house," "We'll will let you play when you're older, " The dad says. So the next day Timmy goes over to play with his friend Johnny. Who was ironically Timmy's neighbor. Johnny asks, "How was your sleep last night?" "I saw my mom and dad playing house last night," Timmy says. "But they told me I could play with them when I'm older." After a little bit of playing with Johnny, Timmy went home and saw his Dad playing house with his babysitter. "Dad, what are you doing?" Timmy asks. "I'm playing house with your babysitter," Timmy's Dad said. "But I saw you play house with Mom last night," Timmy told his father. "Well, don't tell your mother." His dad said.
YO THREE KID'S PLAY HIDE IN GO SEEK THEIR NAME'S ARE TROUBLE MANNERS AND SHUTUP SHUTUP HIT THE POLICE STATION MANNERS HIT THE TRASHCAN TROUBLE IS THE SEEKER WHEN THEY GO AND HIDE AND ALL THAT SHIT THE POLICE MAN COME'S UP TO SHUT UP AND GOES HEY KID WHAT'S YOUR NAME WELL SHUTUP LOOK'S AT HIM AND GOES SHUTUP POLICE MAN SAY'S EXCUSE ME KID WERE'S YOUR MANNERS AT SHUT UP GOES OH MANNERS IN THE TRASH POLICE MAN GOES OH MANNERS IN THE TRASH AND THEN POLICE MAN GOES HEY KID ARE U LOOKING FOR TROUBLE THEN SHUTUP GOES AND SAY'S NO TROUBLE'S LOOKING FOR ME
A teacher is doing an experiment, about taste. she tells each student to line up so she can give them each a lifesaver, so they can tell her what flavor it is. she gives Suzy a pineapple one, Suzy tries it, says the flavor, and then goes and sits back down. that is the same for everyone, then it is Jhonny's turn, the teacher hands him a honey flavor one, Jhonny chews it for a while, then says, "Teacher, I don't know what it is.". the teacher tries to give him a hint and says "it's what you parents call each other when your alseep". immedietly the boy behind Jhonney screams "spit it out Jhonny it's an asshole!!!"
Asian man goes to the eye doctor. Doctor says, "It looks like you have a cataract." Asian guy says, "No Doc, I drive a Rincoln."
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out.
ijolfjosd
I aced my poker test...
my teacher asked me to reflect on my work, so I got a mirror...
A caffeinated vampire goes to sleep in a coffee-n...
do you get my puns... no, because you can't seem to get a grasp on how bad they are...
A hot woman called "Jessie" was showering when the phone rang.. Jessie was upset because the phone wouldn't stop ringing, and she goes out naked from the bathroom to answer the phone in the hall.. Jessie on the phone: 《Hello? 》 The one on the phone: 《Oh hi i'm Jeff i just wanted to tell you don't go out from your bathroom naked next time because my brother is behind you right now trying to rape you》 Jessie: 《Stop it my sister! this is the 10th time you do this cringe joke! it gets boring!》
But sadly it wasn't a joke and she cried alot that night and learned how not to go out naked from the bathroom again.
Linda and Peter are having sex. Peter goes in and out hard then fast and the begins to taste her tits. Finally, he moves down the the vagina and eats her hard. His rouge is inside her body, loling around. He fucks her hard again and his dick slicks up her vagina. The entire time she is moaning and begging for more. When Linda cums on his penis she begins to lick his balls hard. Peter begins moaning too saying,” Linda your just as amazing at fucking at your sister.”
" I heard a noise in the basement! I'm gonna go to my friends house and play Minecraft with him until the noise I heard goes away." " I heard a noise in the basement. I'm gonna go down there with a bazooka and thirty thousand rounds of pistol ammo and fifty thousand pistols."
Said no horror movie character ever
and also GTA logic
seems very long. you wont remember the tel number..... I remember it lile this from school days in Ireland.
Dolly Patron is shopping for new bra , lady says your size (69) , Dolly says no way that too too too (222) big, so she goes to doctor , Doc I need something to make my boobs smaller , here take (51) pills for 6 days ( x6) and soo she did . days later she ran back to doc, jesus Christ doctor look what happened Im BOOBLESS. 55378008 upside down.
So Dora is having a sleepover with her cousin Diego at Dora's house. So later that night Dora's mom hears someone screaming go Diego go for at least a couple of minutes and then it stops and goes back to sleep. But then hears the same thing a couple minutes later and walks in and hears go Diego go so she walks over to Diego's sleeping bag a looks and it's empty so she walks over to Dora's sleeping bag and looks in and See's Dora getting f..... By Diego and hears Dora saying go Diego go while moaning.
What do you call a short person that goes to school?
A Sammie
A man gets on a bus and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.
"Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you."
The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her.
"Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it's over, the man pulls off his God disguise.
"Ha, ha! I'm the man from the bus!"
"Ha, ha!" says the nun, removing her costume. "I'm the bus driver!"
Man is out west driving and on the edge of town comes across a tourist stand and sitting in front is with an Indian chief right out of central casting. Dour look, full headdress, a glass jar and a sign that says "Indian chief know all! $5". So the fellow's curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the chief, puts $5 in the jar and asks "What did I have for breakfast on this day 10 years ago?". Chief taps his chin for a moment and says "Hmmm eggs. You had eggs!". "Eggs?" shouts the guy "Everybody has eggs! I've been had!" throws his hands in the air and leaves in a huff.
Ten years on, as fate would have it the fellow has occasion to be driving through the same town and sure enough he comes across the same stand, Indian chief, sign and jar. So he stops the car and saunters across the road, goes up to the chief like a smart-ass, holds up his hand and says "How". Chief taps his chin for a moment and says "Poached".
Your mums so fat that when she goes to KFC they run out of stock of chicken 😂
What goes in dry and comes out wet?
A dick
How do you catch a polar bear? Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole
3 men go to hell, Satan says if you can question me and I can't answer you go to heaven. The first man asks if Satan knew how to make computers he goes to hell, the next man asks if he knew how to make furniture he goes too, the third man poke a ton of holes in a bottle cap and farts in the bottle asks Satan where the fart came from. Satan said every possible answer and the man pointed to his butthole and said " nope this one "😂
what goes in and comes out and makes you feel good but isnt sexual ( insulin ) for more of these jokes go to diabeticjokeswww.foralaugh.com
what goes in and out and saves your life but is not sexual diabetes
