Go jokes
Yo hairline goes so back it touches Jupiter.
I asked my dog this morning how her week's been going--she said "ruff." I feel her, you know? I feel her.
If you're going shopping at school, what color would I like to smell: True or False?
The real reason Steven Hawking died is he was drunk and tried to go down a flight of stairs.
Why did the orphan go to church?
It was because he was looking for someone to call "Father."
Why didn't the sun go to college?
Because it already had a million degrees!
Why did Michael Jackson go to Walmart? Because he heard boys' pants were half off!
What is the best revenge for getting punished at school?
Go shoot up the school.
Dad: Are you gay?
Kid: Yes.
10 days later.
Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.
Dad: I thought you were gay?
Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.
Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.
I bet you go grocery shopping at the Twinkie Factory.
Thanks to the voice who keeps telling me to let go,
he is my only motivation for trying again.
You know if you go to Wal-Mart, and go to the milk section, you might just find your dads.
When you go to your friend's house to fuck her brother, but realize he's your brother from your mom's side.
Why didn't the squirrel want to go swimming? Because he didn't want to get his nuts wet!
A bicurious man goes to a gay bar.
A gay man offers him a drink.
The bi man explains he doesn't know if he's gay or not.
"That's fine," he says, "let's just have a drink."
The gay man asks him for a dance, and he explains again he isn't sure if he's gay or not.
Eventually, the gay man invites him to go home with him to hang out as friends.
They get to his house, and the gay man says, "Do you fancy having sex?"
He isn't sure, so the gay man explains, "I'll push in slow, and at any point you want to stop, make animal sounds, and if you like it, start singing."
So they get to it, and the gay man pushes in slowly, the bi man bursts out "MOOOOO MOOOOO MOOOOOOVVVEE CCLOSSEEERRRR"
Adam and Eve are going through the garden when Adam suddenly says, "What race are we?"
Eve responds with, "Ask God, he will tell you." So Adam goes over to a hill and asks, "God, what race are we?"
God says, "You are what you are."
Adam goes back to Eve and says, "We are white." Eve asks how he knew that. Adam responds with, "If we were black, he would have said 'you is what you is'."
Hellen Keller went to go grab her bouncy balls.
Man: Ouch!
Why can't 12 boys go down the elevator? Because they have nothing to press the buttons.
If you give a prostitute money, you will go to jail, but if you give a prostitute a Klondike bar, you will not go to jail. I would rather go to the casino and get more money for my buck.
And the children of Israel wandered round the desert for 40 years, until eventually Moses' wife said, "Are you going to ask for directions, or what?"