Girls jokes
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
Knob Klondike, I want Ellen. Poobiess, please. I want big juicy pobs in me right now. Ellen girl, give milk boob to me with good Pochyy, babie.
Just before lockdown began, a woman took her 15-year-old son, Tom, and 14, 16, and 18-year-old daughters Sally, Mary, and Annie and went to the family cabin in the mountains to wait it out, while her husband stayed in town as an essential worker.
The weekly family Zoom call went well enough...until the 8th week when the father noticed the 14-year-old was looking a little...plump. By the 20th week, the 16-year-old's shirt was starting to pull taut over her tummy, by the 25th the curve of the 18-year-old's belly was rising over the edge of the table her laptop was perched on, and by the 30th week his wife and all 3 girls were very obviously 6 months pregnant, and the poor 14-year-old was so huge she was obviously having triplets.
So the father waited until he'd talked to his wife and daughters, and then asked if he could talk to his son alone.
"Look, I know your mom and the girls are all pregnant. I'm not mad, I just want to know how it happened. We don't have any neighbors up at the cabin, did you break quarantine and invite some hikers in, or go into town for supplies?"
"No, Pop, we haven't seen anyone since we left the city," his son told him earnestly. "And we sure haven't gone into town for supplies, I ran out of condoms on the second day here!"
Girl, you must be a Muslim because you are only 5 years old, yet you know how to give great head.
Meeting a girl at the park is good. But parking meat in a girl is better.
What do you call a girl who is thirsty for water?
An H2hoe.
Me: Ok so let's get this straight....
Cop: I'm not straight ok, now get in the car.
Me: But I didn't do anything?
Cop: No.
Me: So why are you arresting me then?
Cop: Imma tell you a story.
Me: Oh no.......
Cop: I know, now come on.
Me: Ok where?
Cop: My room.
Me: Which room?
Cop: My bedroom.
Me: 😱I'm a girl.
Cop: So am I, now get in.
Me: But I'm 9.
Cop: I'm 59.
Hi, I'm a girl gamer looking for a hot bf.
What's the difference between an abortion and a baby girl in China? Nothing, they both die.
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."
Two blonde girls find a beautiful Christmas tree in the woods.
After two hours, someone said, "We found a tree without bark!"
You know why they call me 007?
0 girls.
0 chances.
7 restraining orders.
What did the officer tell the lioness after she said she was a dog?
Oooooooooh girl, you lion!
My sister's boyfriend is mad because I fucked his girl.
How did the skeleton win the girl? He was humerus.
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
A teacher says, "If you have one dollar and your parents give you 5 dollars, how much do you have?"
Everyone raised their hands except for a little girl in the front, but the teacher called on her anyway.
The girl said, "My parents left me, so I would have one dollar."
Why do girls wear classic rock T-shirts? Because they are stupid little bitches who need to grow some fashion sense because wearing old shit doesn't make you unique.
Teacher: We are going to Seville.
Girls: Omg, it's such a beautiful city. I can't wait to explore!
Boys: Ohh oh oh ohhh.
Omg thanks for 1000 likes!
I’d like to be a One Direction poster because I want to be nailed to the wall by a teenage girl ;)