Girls jokes

Why did the girls sit on the clock?

To be on time.

I was at the bar with a friend, and he said to me, "Veronica, I just stopped a rape." The bartender overheard him and had a puzzled look on his face, because he never moved. He then said, "I saw this girl walk into the bathroom, and I decided not to go."

Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.

A girl named Sally has no arms.

"KNOCK KNOCK"

She never answered...

My sister's boyfriend is pissed cuz I fucked his girl.

I saw a guy raping a girl in the park, so I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against the two of us.

Yo girl... do you like squirrels, because I'm about to nut in your hole.

One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".

The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."

A girl walks up to her dad to ask for a dress for prom and he says, "Suck my dick and I'll buy you a dress." She does it and says to him, "Dad, your dick tastes like shit." And he says, "Yeah, your brother wanted a car."

"I met a girl and she's 28."

"Now I'm the coolest guy in all of 8th grade."

- AJR

"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.

“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.

What did the Chinese girl say when she had a baby?

"Sum ting wong."

Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?

Hey girl, are your pants a mirror? 'Cause I can see myself in them.

A fat girl was dancing on the table, and I said, "Nice legs." She says, "You really think so?" And I say, "Yes, definitely, most tables would have been broken by now."

Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.

I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"

He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."

Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.

A girl walks into an Adult Store. "Hi, I want to buy that red dildo right there."

Cashier: "That's a fire extinguisher, you whore."

What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets it.

Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.