Girls jokes

Girl

  • I was fucking this girl, and I started to make her cry.

    She mumbled things and squirmed, but I couldn't hear her through the gag I put in her mouth.

    Johnny

  • Little Johnny ran into the kitchen and asked his mother, "Mom, can little girls have babies?" His mom answered, "Of course not." A few minutes later, his mom heard him shout to his friend, "It's okay, we can keep playing!"

  • 1
  • Alien

  • Things said by racist aliens:

    "Some of my best friends are Green."

    "I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship."

    "You're very pretty for a Purple girl."

    "We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!"

    "Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people."

    "You 2-headed people are so stupid!"

    "No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes."

    "Get out of my store you grigger!"

    "The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let's burn some spaceships on the Greenies' lawns!"

  • 1
  • Law

  • The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we've all kicked a pregnant woman before we were even born.

  • 4
  • Marriage

  • Aiden and Gwen! Are Aiden and Gwen dating? 'Cause if they are, then oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

    Kenya says: Yes, they are deep in love!

    Tenya says: Yeah, but I think he would be good with Hoochie girl 101!

    Gwen says: Guys stop! You really think that!

    Tenya and Kenya say: Yes!

    Kariah says: No! I belong with him. He is MINEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

    Mariah says: Girl, you need to grow up!

    Tenya says: Yeah! When are you guys getting married?

    Lariah says: YEAH!!!!!!

    Iariah says: Yeah!!!!!!!

    Gwen says: Next Sunday!

    All girls say: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Next Sunday, they got married! YAYAYAYYAYAYAY!

    Mariah says: Congrats!

    Kenya says: Yeah!

    Kariah says: Hi Aiden, super cute tux!

    Lariah says: Wooohoooo!

    Iariah says: Yeah! U won it!

    Tenya: This is you guys' time to shine!!!!!!!!

    And they lived happily ever after...in hell! The end!

    Hand

  • I got my little girl a hand sewing kit for her birthday and she cried. I didn't understand why until I realized that she had no hands to sew with.

  • 1
  • Incest

  • Everybody is mad because that guy from Alberta punched a girl in a wheelchair.

    I think he was upset because he found out his sister was cheating on him.

  • 0
  • Morbid jokes

  • Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you fuck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR FUCKED NOW

  • 1
  • Robbery

  • Me: (pointing up in the air) "Everybody listen up, this is a robbery!"

    Girl: "Dude, this is a library."

    Me: "Oh." (screwing on a silencer)

  • 1
  • Punch Line

  • There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl's house. When he got there, he said to her father, "thank you for this moment, have a great night".

    At the dance, the girl asks the boy, "can I have some food?" He gladly replies "yes" and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, "thank you so much, I really needed something to eat". Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, "thank you SOOOO much". Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, "what is it?" She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.

  • 8
  • Nickname

  • Is there a really annoying girl at your school and she's so fake? Well, say this:

    Me: Hey, I have a nickname for you.

    Her: Really? What?

    Me: Sweet-in-low.

    Her: Why?

    Me: Because you're artificial.

    Deer

  • Boy: Crap, I hit a deer.

    Girl: Awe... I guess it’s not so much of a dear.

    Boy: ...

    Boy: Get the hell out!

    Whale

  • Me: So you two girls are from England?

    Girls: Wales.

    Me: Oh, I see, so you two whales are from England.

  • 0
  • Dad

  • A dad told his son never to hit girls, so the son replied, "I promise."

    When the son got older, he was doing the dirty with "a girl," and the girl says, "Spank me, daddy..." and the son responds, "My dad said never to hit a girl."

    Then the "girl" takes off the wig, and it's his dad, and the dad said, "Good job, son!"

    Son:...... um

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