I went home to my girlfriend, with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"
Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"
My heart broke as I went down up the stairs and my girlfriend broke her ♥️ heart
My girlfriend is soo fat that when she runs or walk she falls so I am breaking up with u
🙍🏼♀️Fat girlfriend: nooo don’t leave me catch me ahhh
🙇🏼♀️Fat girlfriend falls on boyfriend:ahhhhhh *dump*
🙇🏼♀️🙇🏼Fat girlfriend and boyfriend:fat girlfriend:u didn’t catch me wawawawa:boyfriend: get off me 900 pounds ugh I hate u
Story done pls like
Ur butt is bigger then my ex-girlfriend’s butt and I love it
I bet ur hairline gose inside ur private part and ur girlfriend can’t even touch it
Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day." Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"
My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and airforces but as soon as I spend a $100 on hookers she leaves me
What’s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?
Her miscarriage.
So my girlfriend left me i took her weelchair and she came back crawling back
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.
Guy: shows girlfriend his dick girlfriend: " cool where is it?"
me: *gets down on one knee*
girlfriend: omg, it's finally happening
me: *falls over*
girlfriend: the poison is kicking in
3 guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet and the psycho one says "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have"
The first guy says "Ha! My girlfriend has 6! I'm racked up!" The second guy said "Eh, I am happy with 2 balls" The third guy said "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"
A guy listening in enters and says "Bro you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?:
I like my girlfriends new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesn’t beat her old primary school one 😀
STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:
Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery? Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you Girlfriend: Ok cool I won 12 dollars heres 6 and don't come back
