Girl jokes

What do you say to a girl with two black eyes?

Nothing, you told her twice.

Fat kid jumps in the pool.

The popular girl: "I thought there was going to be a tsunami."

The fat kid: "I thought trash was not supposed to be in the ocean."

Magician: "I am the greatest magician in the whole world. Look, now you see the rabbit in the hat, and now it is gone!"

Redneck girl: "That's nothing. My dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple of hours!"

What do you call a girl with no legs?

Unshakeable.

Hey girl, are you a diamond pick?

'Cause I'm as hard as obsidian.

What’s the difference between broccoli and little girls?

I don’t like the taste of broccoli.

I have fuck and sex with all the sexy naked ladies and they suck my balls (penis), but you ain't have no girlfriend. Your only friend, they call him ching chong coz of your hairline.

A boy and a girl are showering together. The girl looks down and says to the boy, "Hey, can I touch it?" The boy replies, "Oh hell nah. You already ripped yours off."

An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.

When your mum sold you on eBay for £2 pound for girls stripper.

I keep getting these letters from this little girl every year on Father's Day. I told the orphanage to stop letting her send these.

Boy: “My heart MELTS for you.”

Girl: “OMG, are you okay?!?!”

Boy: “Yeah, why?”

Girl: “Because if your heart is melting, then you are NOT okay.”

A special quote: “I was gonna slap that girl into tomorrow!”

What does Joe Biden say to young girls when he leaves the room?

"Smell ya later!"

I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number.

We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over, which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden.

A girl has small balls.

Hey girl, do you like Harry Potter?

Because I want to wingardium leviosa up that skirt, alohamora those legs open, and aqua erupto inside of your leaky cauldron.

I said to the emo girl, "She gets jealous every time her phone dies."

What’s a 5 letter word that starts with a ‘P’ that girls love to get their hands on? 😏

You know, I like my girls how I like my 9/11: Two twins that go down easy.