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Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?

My friend: To get to the other side?

Me: No, to get to the idiot's house.

My friend: Oh.

Me: Knock knock.

My friend: Who's there?

Me: The chicken.

I'm sorry, orphans, that you're getting bullied. Oh, I have to go, my MOM's calling me. We're going on a road trip to go to a FAMILY reunion!

Why is the oldest iPhone an orphan?

It can't get the iPhone XI or XR. It doesn't have a home button.

Today, a kid in a wheelchair was rolling around the class to get away from this one annoying kid, so I told him, "Brayden, just get up and walk away."

Science experts say when you get mad, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

What falls down the building and doesn't get up again?

An emo.

A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.

What did the Mexican say when a house landed on him?

Esé said, “Get off me, homes!”

My homework was to watch as much porn as I can... and tell my teacher the details so he won't get in trouble for watching it during class.

Why are orphan weddings so entertaining?

They get to walk themselves down the aisle.