Get jokes
I might not be able to make my bed, but at least I can get out of it.
I'll always remember my grandpa's last words.
"Are you getting the knife?"
Why can't an orphan get 5 stars in GTA? Because they are not wanted.
How do you get Wacko Jacko to come inside your shop? Have little boys' pants half off!
Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.
Guys, we need to stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents might get upset. Oh, wait... never mind.
Okay, so I have a dairy and sugar allergy, and if I eat it, I get REALLY CONSTIPATED, so this is me when I’m constipated ᕙ(⇀‸↼‵‵)ᕗ lol.
What’s the best part of raping an 11 year old girl?
Getting to kill the little bitch after you’ve finished with her.
Your mum is so fat, when she was in front of my apartment, I couldn't get in.
How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?
9: one to screw the lightbulb, one to film it, one to post about it on a women empowerment social media page, one to complain that the man didn’t screw the lightbulb, one to say that women deserve to screw more lightbulbs, one to try to get #womenlightbulbscrewers trending on Twitter, one to bring a man and show him the screwing, one to say that women are better than men at screwing lightbulbs, and one to make a speech about the lightbulb.
What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?
Answer: fire.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
How do you get a depressed kid out of a tree? You cut the rope.
I am so depressed! I get jealous when my phone dies.
Teacher: Why did you throw paper airplanes at the twin sisters?
Me: You wouldn't get it.
What time do terrorists arrive in New York City?
9:11 AM
Your mama is such a hoe! It took her 4 attempts to pass her driving test. She couldn't get used to the front seat.
Your mama smells so bad that everytime she goes outside, she gets ticketed for pollution. She's so ugly that everytime she looks out a window, she gets arrested for mooning.
Your mama is so fat.
She steps on the scales. She has to return in a couple days to get the results.
Your mama is so fat, I had to look twice to get a first impression.