Get jokes
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?
Do trees shit?
Well, how else would we get #2 pencils?
Every like this gets, I will kill a telemarketer.
Every dislike, I will kill a cute puppy.
Every comment, I will kill your ex bf or gf and send you a PS5.
Every time someone calls me fat, I get so depressed I cut myself... a piece of cake.
What kind of cold flu do the Japanese get? The Koflu.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
My boss said she would've loved to meet Bill Cosby as a child. I don't get why I'm getting arrested. I was just making sure his dream came true.
Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”
Friend 1: “Yeah.”
Friend 2: “Yea.”
Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”
Friend 3: “I love anime.”
Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*
Why did the chef go get the eggs? Because eggs are egg-tastic!
Why don't orphans get dad jokes?
Because they don't have a dad to tell them.
Dark humor is like cancer; it's funnier when kids get it.
How to get rid of non-vaccinators: call water a "dehydration vaccine."
Dislike this! Let's get to 1000 dislikes!
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!
Roses are red,
My nuts are bigger than your small balls, that's why I get all the bitches.
If a fly loses its wings, is it now a walk? Wait a minute, I found out a mind blower. So the 🌎 is the 3rd planet from the sun, doesn't that mean all countries are called the 3rd country of 🌎? If I get 10 likes, I'll do one mind-blowing fact daily.
Your mum is so overdue on eBay for £2 so she could get a male stripper.
Your mum is so fat, when I see her, I get depressed.
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.
Trump built a wall that Mexicans can't get over it.