Get jokes
This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"
God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."
Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.
An orphan can’t ever play Grand Theft Auto V because he can’t get a wanted level.
What’s one thing that an orphan can never get in poker?
A full house.
What's common in vampires and American kids?
They both don't get old.
What do you call a pregnant slave?
Buy 1 get 1 free.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't get a home run.
Q: What did the late cannibal get when he got to the party?
A: A cold shoulder.
[Them]: "Don't you think you'll feel ashamed of all the suicide jokes you've made when you get older?"
[Me]: "When I what?" 0-0
I've realized that suicide would solve all my problems... if I could just get the right people to try it.
Q: Why did Bill Cosby get away with it?
A: Because the women were all Cosby-ing for it!
Your mum is so fat that when you walk around her, you get lost.
Yo momma's so fat, when she gets an abortion, she can feed the entire country of Africa leftovers.
Flat girls be like, "I will have breasts in the future." This is to all the flat girls: you will never get it.
Why do orphans love getting r@ped?
Because they want to know what love feels like.
What's the difference between puppies and orphans?
Puppies actually get picked.
When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:
Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?
Why did the influencer terrorist get arrested?
Because his TikTok blew up...
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? One of them gets picked.
You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”