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In the beginning of the 20th century, a young girl called Edit left her home country of Sweden and crossed the Ocean to make a new life in America. Unfortunately, it did not go all that well, and she soon found herself homeless, begging for food or money to survive.

She used to occupy a street next to a theater, not because it meant hefty handouts, but because it was a place where no other beggars or police bothered her. Every night, a new crowd came to see a show, and the cute young girl found just enough mercy to survive. In fact, she did so well that she decided to afford herself a small piece of cake every Tuesday, just to keep her spirits up.

One Tuesday, she could not get a break. Looked like she will go without cake this week. Then, a strange-looking gentleman stopped near her. He soon heard her story and decided to share his fortune.

Gentleman: "I work as a magician in the touring show; today, we performed here. Some nights, our guests want to gamble with us afterwards, and I make sure to bring home more than I came with. I try to keep it moderate, but today, this obnoxious drunk was loaded, so I emptied his pockets. Here, take this precious coin."

Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles, and lighten your burden."

Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."

Girl: "Well, that's because we aren't married yet!"

What’s the difference between a brick and redheads? Bricks get laid.

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.

After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"

The Sunday school teacher is a little concerned that his kids might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, “Where is Jesus today?”

Little Suzy replies, “He’s in heaven.”

Little Mary replies, “He’s in my heart.”

Little Johnny says, “He’s in the bathroom!”

The teacher says, “How do you know this?”

Then little Johnny says, “Well, every morning my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, “Jesus Christ are you still in there!?””

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    • Yo mama so fat, when she goes to get grapes off a bush, the bush says, "Bitch, I never thought they can grow that big!"

    You can get the park in the park with you if I have park in your car, and I will be there in a couple of hours. Would you be able to pick them out at your house, and I will pick you up, and I will be at your place at your convenience. I can get them in a little while. I’m at the park. Bye.

    Why do orphans not get family size [items]?

    Because they don’t have a family to share with.

    Addison, it's Emboy again. I just want to be honest, you sound like a tease! And teases get spanked.

    Jordan, you stupid ass! Addison never bothered you so leave her the FUCK alone! How about this? Get up, go outside, stop being a jackass, and get a fucking life!

    I bet you're a child molester who got out of jail and is now sexually harassing kids such as Addison! Will fuck off and get a life, btw your roasts are not fucking funny, they're bullshit like your face and your hairline.

    Jorden Calerendiá.

    I bet you are a child molester who got out of jail and is now sexually harassing kids such as Addison! Will fuck off and get a life, by the way your roasts are not fucking funny they are bullshit like your face and your hairline.

    Hey Jorden Calerendiá, your last name sounds like a sea food shop that I get my fish from.

    Your roasting is trash just like you. Boy, stop roasting on Addison and Gwen and others; you're probably 5 years old trying to dislike that. That roasting is like from 1920, get a life.