Get jokes
What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.
Why did the elephant cross the road?
To get to the peanut.
What's the difference between orphans and dogs?
Dogs get adopted.
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
Boobs are like batteries...
AA will get the job done...
C is bigger than AA...
D is bigger that C...
...and if they're square, you don't want to put your tongue on them!
Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? Because they don’t get homesick.
Why did a school shooter get banned from a game server?
He was caught aimbotting.
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
Why did the chickens cross the road?
To get to KFC.
What do you get when you cross a road with a stalker?
Raped.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the car.
Why do orphans get iPhones 11?
Because it has no home page.
Two gays are getting ready for Christmas... They are expecting a big package in the mail!
Mom, start eating, or else you will get fatter!
Why did the little boy get hit by a car?
Answer: Because Sally was driving!
Why did Elsa let go of the balloon?
Car show: "Let It Go," get it?
How do you get 4 gay guys on a bar stool? You turn it upside down.
How do you get them back off again? You jerk them off.
You know what really gets me under my skin when I'm down? Sharpener blades.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
At least one of them gets picked.