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You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
Why do prepubescent orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?........... The apple gets picked.
What do you call it when Panera Bread gets painted red?
Panera Red.
What do you call it when a man gets high in Panera Bread?
Panera sped.
How do you get an emo kid to jump?
A bridge.
The Twin Towers should've known they were gonna get hit when their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"
Why do orphans play tennis?
So they can finally get love.
Why did the chicken cross the road?...
To get to the other side.
Why don't Pakis play football? Every time they get a corner, they build a shop.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.
Why did Joe get hit by a bus? Sally was driving it.
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
Why did the emo person cross the road?
TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE Haha.
Why did the sexy 12 year old girl with cerebral palsy get raped? Because her parents didn’t have the decency to drown her at birth.
What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Q) What’s the difference between an apple and an Orphan? A) Apples always get picked.
Do you know why orphans can't get married?
Because they will never get their parents' blessing.
What store does an orphan always get kicked out of?
Home Depot.
So, one day I have a wife, but if it's getting a longer day, she is moving so weird, and I see she has sex with Rick Astley. 😂 [rickrolled]
What do orphans get at Xmas?
Lonely.
Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"
Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"