Geopolitics jokes
America: "WE NEED MORE AMMO!"
Japan: "We are the ammo."
Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim is already in America.
How do you know that the U.S. sucks at chess?
They lost two towers.
Have you heard of the current event in Africa? It’s called the Hunger Games.
Why can't the USA and England play chess?
USA has no towers and England has no queen.
Iran: We can beat the USA.
Japan is typing...
Why do Japanese people hate Christmas?
Because the last time a "FatMan" went down their chimney they lost half of their population.
Why are Americans bad at chess? Because they lost the towers.
Drop me in Afghanistan with a cigar, a Kobe jersey, a MAC-10, a Lambo Huracan with a bumper delete, and a Toyota Tacoma with an M249 on the back. Then I'll have Afghanistan as the 51st state by midnight.
When God made Chinese, he said, "DON'T LOOK!" and the Chinese said, "Why?"
And God replied, "You won't want to be fruitful and multiply if you saw where you are putting that thing."
It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.
When God made White Man, he said, "NEVER SHUT YOUR EYES!" and the white man said, "Why?"
And God replied, "You need to keep an eye out for the Chinese, one day they will out number you."
It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.
Then the white man said, "There is a white genocide!"
And the survivors of the Holocaust said, "All these Europeans killed each other, so a white genocide is accurate. White killed white."
Then the Chinese said, "Thank you, we take your land now."
And the Jews said, "But we are God's chosen people!"
And the Chinese said, "Yes, every time God show up you get bullied! You might want to worship someone else!"
And the Jews said, "Why are you Chinese so lucky, you can't even see, you blind!"
And the Chinese said, "Jesus say be in the world not of the world, so don't go looky looky at the world then."
It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.
Why are Americans so bad at chess?
They already lost two towers.
What’s Bin Laden’s favorite drink? Double Manhattan.
What do you call a swimmer from Iraq?
A bath bomb.
Why doesn’t the US want to play chess with the UK?
The US is already down 2 towers, and the UK has an unkillable queen.
What sounds did the Ukraine people make in basketball? Ka-boom!
Why is the USA so bad at chess?
Because they already lost the Twin Towers.
What war did Africa not win? The water fight.
Why are Americans bad chess players?
Because they lost to Towers.
A young boy was talking to his friend about his family:
"My great-grandfather fought against Napoleon, my grandfather fought against the English, my father fought against the Americans, and my uncle against the Argentinians."
The friend replied: "It seems that your family can't get along with anybody!"
Russia: "Silence."
Ukraine: Help...