Gender Role jokes
How can you tell if your wife is dead? -- The sex is the same, but the dishes start piling up.
There is a lot of difference between a man and a woman saying, "I went through a whole box of tissues watching that movie."
A man was asked by his 21 years old daughter, "Dad, how do you give a blowjob to a man that has a big dick?"
Her father replied, "Honey, you should have watched me last night. It was inside my mouth. Does it cycle now?"
How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?
9: one to screw the lightbulb, one to film it, one to post about it on a women empowerment social media page, one to complain that the man didn’t screw the lightbulb, one to say that women deserve to screw more lightbulbs, one to try to get #womenlightbulbscrewers trending on Twitter, one to bring a man and show him the screwing, one to say that women are better than men at screwing lightbulbs, and one to make a speech about the lightbulb.
Why does the queen move more than a king on the chessboard?
Because it looks like a kitchen floor.
I went to a feminist picnic the other day.
It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.
I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.
How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?
Wife: (on phone) Hi. Husband: Hey, I didn’t know dishwashers talk and make me a sandwich.
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?
A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.
Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"
What’s the difference between a job and a wife?
The job keeps sucking after 5 years.
Why are wives also called a housekeeper?
Because after the divorce, they keep the house.
The real reason women are always cold is because they’re not in front of a stove or an oven. So, naturally, when they leave the habitat, they need to have two blankets.
A dad told his son never to hit girls, so the son replied, "I promise."
When the son got older, he was doing the dirty with "a girl," and the girl says, "Spank me, daddy..." and the son responds, "My dad said never to hit a girl."
Then the "girl" takes off the wig, and it's his dad, and the dad said, "Good job, son!"
Son:...... um
How many genders are there?
One, women are property.
Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...
Q: How many men does it take to open up a beer?
A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.
How did "Bloody Mary" become a thing?
Because her husband beat her bloody when she didn't stay in the kitchen.
I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."
If WW3 starts, I do, in fact, belong in the kitchen.