Gender Role Jokes

Marriage

How can you tell if your wife is dead? -- The sex is the same, but the dishes start piling up.

Difference

There is a lot of difference between a man and a woman saying, "I went through a whole box of tissues watching that movie."

Blowjob

A man was asked by his 21 years old daughter, "Dad, how do you give a blowjob to a man that has a big dick?"

Her father replied, "Honey, you should have watched me last night. It was inside my mouth. Does it cycle now?"

Feminist

How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?

9: one to screw the lightbulb, one to film it, one to post about it on a women empowerment social media page, one to complain that the man didn’t screw the lightbulb, one to say that women deserve to screw more lightbulbs, one to try to get #womenlightbulbscrewers trending on Twitter, one to bring a man and show him the screwing, one to say that women are better than men at screwing lightbulbs, and one to make a speech about the lightbulb.

Chessboard

Why does the queen move more than a king on the chessboard?

Because it looks like a kitchen floor.

Feminist

I went to a feminist picnic the other day.

It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.

Beer Bottle

How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?

A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.

Wife

Wife: (on phone) Hi. Husband: Hey, I didn’t know dishwashers talk and make me a sandwich.

Woman

I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.

How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?

Toy

Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"

Dad

A dad told his son never to hit girls, so the son replied, "I promise."

When the son got older, he was doing the dirty with "a girl," and the girl says, "Spank me, daddy..." and the son responds, "My dad said never to hit a girl."

Then the "girl" takes off the wig, and it's his dad, and the dad said, "Good job, son!"

Son:...... um

Wife

What’s the difference between a job and a wife?

The job keeps sucking after 5 years.

Wife

Why are wives also called a housekeeper?

Because after the divorce, they keep the house.

Date

Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...

Bloody Mary

How did "Bloody Mary" become a thing?

Because her husband beat her bloody when she didn't stay in the kitchen.

Wife

I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."

Wife

Q: How many men does it take to open up a beer?

A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.