An old woman goes to the doctor complaining of extremely smelly gas. “I don’t understand it, Doc”, she said, “I have this terrible, terrible gas”. “Thankfully”, she added, “they are at least silent when I fart”. Doctor hands her a bottle of pills, tells her take them all and then come back to see him. The old woman returned a short time later extremely mad. “I took those pills like you said and not only is my gas smelly, but now when I fart they are obnoxiously loud!”, she yelled. The doctor said, “well, now that we’ve solved your hearing problem, let’s see what we can do about that gas”.

Yo mama so dumb. She sold her car for gas money.~~ Yo mama so poor the ducks throw bread at her.

What do you get when you eat a hamburger 🍔😋? Mustard gas.

Man all these jokes suck they’re horipuning

uranus is a gas giant

Three women- a blonde, a brunette and a redhead- are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two two hours later their vehicle dies with no gas and they’re forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them. The brunette brings canteens of water. The redhead takes a large beach umbrella. The Blonde somehow rips off the car door. The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?" To which the blonde replied, “So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot.”

poopy farty pee

Chinese takeout $15 . 00 gas to get there $1.50 . Getting home to find they,very forgotten one of your dishes RICELESS

the gas prices are going up that even Hitler is killing himself

The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?

How do you get a Japanese fanclub?

Walk around with a bundle of gas masks!

So a guy walks into gas station and walks to the person working and says “can I have a kitcat chuncky” so she gets him one and then he says “no I want a normal kitcat you fat bitch”.

My mom said the happier a person is when sick the sooner they get better.

So I went to the hospital hooked up everyone’s breathing masks to laughing gas.

So we were working with a new client at work and my boss farts, he said "a little gas never killed anyone

One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an “L” on her forehead

Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see So what’s wrong with taking the back streets? You’ll never know if you don’t go You’ll never shine if you don’t glow

[Chorus:] Hey, now, you’re an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you’re a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold

It’s a cool place and they say it gets colder You’re bundled up now wait 'til you get older But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture

The ice we skate is getting pretty thin The water’s getting warm so you might as well swim My world’s on fire. How about yours? That’s the way I like it and I’ll never get bored.

[Chorus 2x]

Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas I need to get myself away from this place I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change

Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see So what’s wrong with taking the back streets? You’ll never know if you don’t go You’ll never shine if you don’t glow.

[Chorus]

And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold

Did you know that Germany came up with sparkling water

Who else would think of adding gas

why did the blonde run outside naked? she thought the steam was a gas leak

If a king farts, is it a noble gas?

Why did the noble gas cry?

Because all his friends Argon.

Why didn’t anyone react when the king farted? – It was a noble gas.

What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?

He went to the Shell station.