New Gas Jokes

What did the wizard say when he was filling up the gas tank? "Expensive Petroleum!"

Sparkling water was invented by Germans. Who else would add gas?

Why is Hitler better than Biden?

Because Hitler gave his people gas for free.

Why did the Jew get an electric car?

Because he was afraid of the gas.

If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......

Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga

YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!

I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.

Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.

This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"

The truth behind Hitler's suicide: his gas bill was too high.

Gas is expensive nowadays.

In the 1940s, they got it for free.

What did Jessiey do?

Jump and make a explosionnnnnnnn, heyyyy gas!

What do alcoholics and gas prices have in common?

They both get really high.

Said the man angered to his wife:

"Now stop the damn suicide tries! Just look at the gas bill!?"

Why did Hitler commit suicide?

He got the gas bill.

Marriage is like buying a car. You see one that you like and then you buy it. But over the years, it gets older, rusty, and certain parts stop working.

Then you walk into a dealership and look at all the new ones and you're still stuck with the old one. You look over and go, "But I just wanna sit in it. Just once. It's even got leather interior, it's chrome, it doesn't even have oil or gas leaks! And it doesn't squeak!"

How can you tell when a comic passes gas? Something smells funny.

Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.

Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.