Funny

Funny jokes

Depression

  • Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.

    My depression: hey, what's up!

    Me: go away.

    My depression: well how rude.

    Me: 🙄.

    My depression: remember that one time......

    Me: no, don't even.

    My depression: that we.....

    Me: nope.

    My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.

    Me: 😳😶😟.

    My depression: 😉 don't worry I'll always be here for you.

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  • Prince

  • Dear prince,

    Gwen is dating Aiden! I can tell by the emojis! She does not like you or the way you talk to her, not one bit!

    P.S. She is and will always be dating Aiden! Leave a comment.

    Face

  • Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.

    Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.

    Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!

    Bread

  • Some bread teacher: What will Reddit be in a few years?

    Dumb Kid: DEADit?

    Bread Teacher: You get an FY for FUCK YOU!

    Bread Teacher: It will be BREADit!

    Student: Hah, that's VERY funny! Might as well go to DEADit so I can die of laughter.

    Bad Luck

  • Break a wine glass: I give you bad luck for a year.

    Break a mirror: Funny wine glass, I give you bad luck for 7 years.

    Breaking a condom: Haha so funny mirror.

  • 0
  • Weight

  • I saw a fat dude wearing a shirt that said "guess." I said 215kg, he didn't find it as funny.

  • 2
  • Orphan

  • What was the orphan's name?

    Jake! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣😂🤣🤣😂😂

  • 1
  • Explain Bear

  • Alright listen up you penis sucking chicken muching grape juice sipping BLACKIE!!! This is Explain Bear here to explain the joke. So the joke of “Why did the chicken cross the road” is that you expect it to be a funny punchline. But instead, you get a straightforward answer “To get to the other side” which is the logical explanation to that question. The humor is found in subversion to the subversion of expectation. Double whammy!!! So yeah that was another joke successfully explained by EXPLAIN BEAR!!!!! Dont forget to like and subscribe to my youtube channel, and until next time, BEAR OUT!!!!!!!

  • 0
  • Hawking

  • Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.

    And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.

  • 1
  • Sister

  • Gina: Maryen? Karlya? Amber? Kristie? Why isn't it listed that she's here?

    Zari: Your sister isn't listed in the meantime, just relax.

    Gina: That still doesn't answer why she's not listed. I want her to see me!

    Zari: Anyway, it will be time for your medications, we have the gixen and the Uiasends.

    Gina: Do you know my sister's name?

    Zari: Yes. Her name is Jalien.

    Gina: Fine, I don't care!!!