Funeral

Funeral Jokes

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.

Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you. But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.

My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.

When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!”, so I started doing the same to them at funerals.

You don't want to know why it takes so long to put a dead woman in a mass produced coffin in a pre buried grave dug by machinery, that is then filled by mourners.

Mom where are we going To your grandma's funeral Yeah cus i 360 no scoped that bit** in the face.

imma eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before i die just to make the cremation a lil more interesting

You were sad because your grandmother died. The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.