Fruit jokes
Where does the banana learn to split? At Sunday school.
Dude, if there is a watermelon, shouldn't there be an earthmelon, airmelon, and a firemelon? The elemelons.
What will fall faster, an emo or an apple?
An apple, because the emo would get caught on the rope.
What do grapes 🍇 love most about family?
Raisin kids!
What fell out of the tree first, the apple or the emo?
The apple, the emo was caught by the rope.
Memes
My sister thinks she's sooooo smart. She said that the only food that makes you cry is onions, therefore I threw a coconut at her.
Why do orphans sit in apple trees?
They wait to be picked.
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like an apple.
How do you make an apple turnover?
You push it down a hill.
What is the cherry's favorite cartoon?
"Tom and Jerry!"
What’s the most artistic fruit?
Vincent mango.
Why'd Billy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing with the bent one.
Q. What's the difference between an Alzheimer's patient and a tomato? A. A tomato isn't a vegetable.
What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A fruit stand.
Have you heard my cherry joke? It's pitiful.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
If an apple and an emo kid fell out of a tree, which would hit the ground first?
The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked, and the other doesn't.
What is the difference between an apple spread and an orphan spread?
Apples get picked.
Little William punched Little Johnny in the face. Then Little Johnny says, "If you do that again, I'm gonna turn your fucking nuts into coconut juice."