Friendship jokes
My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"
Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.
What did one man say to his friend who had a receding hairline?
He said, “Hey, friend, I can see that your head definitely has a brighter future than mine.”
Sayori: *dies*
Monika: "You kinda left her hanging... 😊"
MC: "😨"
I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."
Bro, is your hairline and your forehead good friends because they go way back?
Qualification Check:
Single
Taken
Friended ✔
A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.
Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”
What kind of man would be a lesbian's best friend? A decimen.
I just wanted to say to never let go of family; they are everything. Never let anyone walk all over you. And if you are with me, like this quote.
Your forehead and your hairline must be friends, because they go way back!
One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.
They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.
A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.
Confucius say: "Gay man who take far, far away trip, hates to leave friends behind."
Me: Knock knock. Bestie: Who's there? Me: Ben. Bestie: Ben Dover? Me: No, Ben vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx. Bestie: Omg how did I forget, hi vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx!
I was once friends with a schizophrenic emo. He tried high-fiving a tree, but it only left him hanging.
My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.
Your forehead and your hairline must be old friends, because they go way back.
Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:
"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."
I told the ugly friend in my friend group that when they daydream, they shouldn't picture themselves because it will just ruin it.
My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.