What do you call a skeleton with no friends BONELY
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
Birthdays are weird. We celebrate being one year closer to dying. And we celebrate it with friends and family, which is totally not how we'll die.
We're all gonna die alone, not surrounded by friends and family.
what do you call a kid with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor
I bought a book for my blind friend :)
A guy wins a free ticket to the Super Bowl and so he’s very excited.
However, he’s not so excited when he gets there and realizes his seat’s in the back of the stadium.
So he looks around him for a better seat, and to his surprise he finds an empty seat right next to the field.
He approaches the older guy who’s sitting in the seat next to the empty one and asks if the seat is taken.
The man replies, “No.”
The young guy is very surprised to hear this and asks, “How could someone pass up a seat like this?”
The older guy replies, “It’s my wife’s seat. We’ve been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she’s passed away.”
“Oh, how sad,” the young guy says, taken aback. “I’m sorry to hear that, but couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you?”
“No,” the man replies, “They’re all at the funeral.”
What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.
My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."
Me: I look up to you Friend: Wow, thanks! Me: But in general cuz your so tall
Why did the skeleton want a friend? He was feeling BONELY
My friend was feeling low today so I went up to her and said "You know I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life" I don't think she likes me now
My friend entered a pun contest. He entered ten, figuring at least one of them would win, but no pun in ten did.
friend:stop w the sh jokes there not funny me: its not that deep. ill cut it out
Me: Wanna hear a joke about my chin? Friend: Nah, dude. It'll be too long.
Friends: You wanna hang with us? Me: No, I wanna hang myself
You learn from the best.
Friend: did your tattoos hurt Me: nah not really Friend: What did they feel like Me: 7th grade Friend:😶😶😨😰😰😰😨
A depressed man buys a gun for suicide but then thinks "maybe i shouldn't be doing this" and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.
Location is in London by the way. One day a fatass came home and told his friend that he lost money. His friend, "Oh for once you lost some pounds!"
I was talking to my welsh friend the other day and he suddenly started talking welsh to me then collapsed after the first few sentences. Turns out he had a stroke
Kid: "Hey, are you an orphan?" Friend: "Yeah, but you are too." Kid: "At least my parents wanted me."
