Friends jokes

Me: Do you like smash?

Friend: Smash Rolls?

Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS!

Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)

I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?

She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"

To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"

Danny's Chromebook, Charger in his eager hands, Power for his world.

Fingers click and type, Words flow with electric grace, Thoughts come to life.

Screen illuminates, Imagination takes flight, Limitless pages.

Infinite knowledge, Unleashed through digital realms, Chromebook charger's might.

Danny's trusted friend, Always ready to connect, Bound by cord and fate.

Together they thrive, Exploring vast horizons, Endless possibilities.

Danny with his Chromebook charger, A duo, unstoppable, Unleashing their dreams.

My friend went to buy some milk, why is she not back yet?

At gym class today, my friend made this song:

🎵 I’m a Barbie girl, I am fantastic, my boobs are plastic!

My friend asked which is better to have, and you have to choose: autism or Down syndrome?

Friend: You know how I like my women like my coffee... hot.

Me: What if you don't like coffee? :(

I see my friends at school. They talk to me, they go back to class, but they forgot I am their classmate, and they were like, "You're a dumbie." And I was, "Well, you're a dumbass, bi***!"

They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.

2nd comments from Gwen in her bra.

Keie: Man Man man! I LOVE U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

heyo: 👅🍑

Bari: STOP U FUCKIN PEDOS!!!!!!!!!!

Kenya Bailey: THAT IS ENOUGH! I AM REPORTING ALL OF THIS CRAP TO THE ADMIN!!!!!!!!!!!

Remera Karwi: Shut up! We jus tellin her she looks like a star no need for all that "crap".

Kenya Bailey: One guy put tongue and peach aka butt I know a little bit about oral sex my friend or not!

When my bro says "YOUR MOM" when I'm talking when I'm at school, and my friend says "YOUR MOM," me punches him;-;

Wade, you're a joke. The worst joke.

Hoped this would be a safer, more fun place to talk to my BP friends, but I guess not.

I've also learned that some people think "worst jokes ever" = "terrible unfunny jokes that make light of people who died horribly or otherwise suffered" instead of things like "why did the chicken cross the road?"-type jokes.

Maybe I'm just too old at this point.

Friend: My girls are like boomerangs; they always come back.

Me: Mine DON'T :(

One day my ex-best friend lied about his computer dying when he left the call and watched YouTube.

One day, there are friends having fun.

Hours later, one of the friends, Alice, wanted to leave and said, "Cya guys, I'm just gonna hang in the tree and have some fresh air."

And they all agree.

Hours go by, and the group of friends are ready to go home, but then they see a tree in the distance that looks like someone is hanging on the tree with a tight rope.

What does an Emo do with his friends?

Literally hanging out.

Once there was a boat. Its friends said,

"It's time to come back." And the boat said,

"No way. I don't give into pier pressure."

They didn't know where to put the orphan. He was returned from the hospital he was born from; the parents gained one cent, while the orphan gained potatoes as friends.

Orphan: *crying* You: Do you know where your parents are? Orphan: No. Your Friend: They don't have parents!!! You: 😂 I know.

Me: I am the second worst thing that happened to these orphans.

Friend: What was the first?

Me: They- they weren't always orphans.

Friend: O-O