Friends jokes

After sleeping with her boyfriend for the first time, the lead singer of Blackbriar told her friend all about it: "Ik zora cock!"

What do you call a school bus that you cannot drive?

A friend.

I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?

She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"

To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"

I find this website. I see this person named Gwen. I simp for her, but just for a troll. Next thing I know, we're somehow dating? Then her ex comes in and dates her again. Apparently, he is gay, and I'm pretty sure Gwen could be a boy, but he or she has 3 friends who always back her up, just to let y'all know this isn't really supposed to be a dating app or drama app, it's a joke app, and this isn't really a joke. But one last thing, you guys are all b*tches...

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because he wanted to get to the other side and meet his friend.

My friend made a joke about a dog. I said it was a "RUFF" joke.

My friend and I got into a fight. I looked straight forward and said, "Look me in my eyes!"

When you see your friend, you call the police, but they just moan.

My friend's dad died during 9/11. He was such a good pilot, but my friend kept disturbing him, so when his dad died, he said, "It was you who killed me" (to the child).

So the child said, "Yoo-hoo? What type of name is Yoo-hoo, but Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo come here, I need to kill you NOW."

My friend called me fat, so I challenged him to a running race.

Me: *sprays some perfume on myself*

Friend: Omg, that smells so good! You’re so aromatic, how do you not have a bf yet?

Me: ... I’m aromantic and aromatic. I do not desire romantic relationships with others although I do enjoy carrying lovely scents with me.

I have 25 friends in the alphabet.

But I don't know why.

My friend's name is Campbell, so she must love soup.

Me: It smells like good fam.

Friend: What's good fam?

Me: Nothing much, what about you fam?

My friend's life.

When you're playing online with your friend, then you hear a kid scream: "No, Dad, please stop!" Scream ends with a gunshot.

Friend: My girls are like boomerangs; they always come back.

Me: Mine DON'T :(

I fucked the shit outta of my friend's mom with my 8 inch dick (Adrian). PS. Sorry, Adrian!

My friend Nickiya wanted to know what animal she'd be. I said that she would be a "Ni-cat-a."

Friend texting fat boy: I know you're on the group chat. I can see you looking at my texts.

Me: I can only see fat.