Friends jokes

I was having a party in my basement, and my friend asked me what that bag covered in blood was for. I said, "Oh, that's the bag I catch the children with to torture them in this basement."

My friend walked down the street and peed on a car.

I got my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He came back a week later and said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.

Friend A: "Why are you still a virgin, bro?"

Friend B: "I was until last night."

Friend A: "Nah, nah, who with?"

Friend B: "Your sister."

Friend A: "I don't have a sister."

Friend B: "Just wait 9 months, you'll see."

"Guys! Let’s hang out after school!"

Dude named Guys:

Dude named Out:

Dude named School:

Today sucked. My friend fell off a cliff, and I went to jail.

A young boy was talking to his friend about his family:

"My great-grandfather fought against Napoleon, my grandfather fought against the English, my father fought against the Americans, and my uncle against the Argentinians."

The friend replied: "It seems that your family can't get along with anybody!"

A young boy was talking to his friend about his family:

"My great-grandfather fought against Napoleon, my grandfather fought against the English, my father fought against the Americans, and my uncle against the Argentinians."

The friend replied: "It seems that your family can't get along with anybody!"

Denki: Hey Mineta, I have a joke.

Mineta: ...go on...

Denki: Ochako's booty.

Mineta: I don't get it?

Denki: Exactly.

Mineta: *cries T_T*

I was talking to my friend, and he said, "I lost my virginity to a girl, and then she stopped coming to school." And I said, "Probably because she was fired."

I saw my friend hang themselves. My response was, I guess they wanted to hang with someone.

Best friend: Let’s get tattoos of our parents.

Orphan: I don’t have parents.

Who was Goldilocks' best friend?

Goldie.

I went to a sleepover at my best friend's house. He lives with his grandpa and little brother, his mom and dad. His little brother likes to run around the house naked sometimes. I can't help but notice his grandpa always looks up when he does.

Me scrolling through jokes that sum up my life, starts crying.

My friend: What’s wrong?

Me: Nothing, it's just so funny. Lol😂🤣😂

My dumb ass thinking I made a friend, oh ya, I forgot, literally nobody likes me!

Me telling a depression and suicide joke in front of my friends.

My friends: ........ Oh wait, I don't have any, so nothing to worry about here.

Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime.

One day my ex-best friend lied about his computer dying when he left the call and watched YouTube.

Why did the skeleton want a friend? Because he was feeling bonely.