Friends jokes

Mom

Anonymous Cat · 5 years ago

Mom: Hey you! What are you doing?!

Me: Nothing, why?

Mom: You're supposed to do your ______.

Me that/every night: *sob*

Friends: Are you okay?

Me: Yeah, fine.

Me in head: Or maybe I'm not okay...

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Cheese grater

CarleyM · 5 years ago

So last week I gave my blind friend a cheese grater. The next two weeks he told me that was the most violent book he has ever read.

Taste

Lolriz · 5 years ago

When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good, but he says that he doesn't taste anything.

Orphan

Anonymous · 5 years ago

What did the orphan's friend give him for his birthday?

Lego, so he can build a home.

Cheetah

dev · 5 years ago

I got kicked outta the poker game.

They said I was a little cheetah.

Friend

DOonie boot · 5 years ago

Me: I know why you don't have friends.

Kid: Why?

Me: Because you can't even figure that out.

Friend

Anonymous · 5 years ago

My friend nearly drowned in her bowl of muesli the other day. She was pulled in by a strong "currant."

Friend

Gwen · 5 years ago

Roses are red and violets are blue, my best friend is Sue, and she's blue, too.

(meaning sad)

Fat People

Anonymous · 5 years ago

My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.

Jackass

Gwen · 5 years ago

My friend and I were playing Poker... And my friend also beat me with Jackass.

Time

Aka Jokes · 5 years ago

You: Find a time clock that can change time.

Your friend the next day: Hey, can I borrow yo' house?

You: No, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME!

Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again.

Idiot

dev · 5 years ago

RICK: GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT OH GUESS WHAT MOTHERFUCKER OR IMMA SAY IT!!!!!!

Richard: What????

Rick: So before Donald Trump's impeachment, he said, "The Coronavirus will end on March 32nd 2021."

Richard: Your from planet Earth where there's a March 32nd. Enjoy it, *stupid dumb fuck brother*.

Rick: Oh I will.

*It was the day March 21st*

*9 Days later*

*March 31st*

Rick: oh I cant wait until tomorrow!!!!!!!!!! Ooh im so excited im gonna give my friends a big ole bro hug and hand shake i miss the muhfuckin dudes man

*one day later*

*He got his school uniform waiting for the bus not seeing it*

Rick:....... wai......Huh!?!?...... hol....up

BITCH IM AND IDIOT THERE IS NO MOTHERFUCKING MARCH 32ND THIS IS THE MOTHERFUCKING 1ST OF APRIL TRUMP DUMBASS

*Richard*

*oh he's the dumbass*

Game

sonic is cool · 5 years ago

If you are friendly on a game, should I will kill you in the game? You should say, "Will, if you did kill me, I will tell my more friendly to ban you from the game." The friendly should [ask], "What you got?" Friendly on the game [replies], "Jack, you are not my friendly, the all friendly you be ban, if you don't get it, will have fun." If you don't like the text, I am come for you. Ok, now like it, the end.