Friend

Friend jokes

Suicide

    • A man named Icide ruined my life. I asked a friend if he would help me sue him. He said yes. But for some reason, he killed me.

    All I wanted was for someone to help me sue Icide...

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    • Car pet

    • I used to have a friend who worked at a car shop who liked hunting.

    I’m not friends with him anymore because he turned my dog into a car-pet.

    Stroke

    • I was talking to my Welsh friend the other day, and he suddenly started talking Welsh to me then collapsed after the first few sentences. Turns out he had a stroke.

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    • Chicken

    • Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friend's pen. In the end, he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chicken's life.

  • 12

    • Orgasm

    • A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover. One of her friends asks, "When was the last time you had an orgasm?" She replies, "3 days ago." Dad comes bursting in, "I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT!"

  • 8

    • Sister

    • My friend told me he had a sister. I asked if she was hot, and he said she was 8. That wasn't my question.

  • 26

    • Tree

    • What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

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    • Partner

    • I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but fell asleep.

  • 0