French jokes

I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:

The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"

What does a French woman say when you ask her what her favorite video game is? "Oui, oui!"

How many gears does a French tank have?

One forward and six reverse.

A French, a German, and an Italian make a race to see who resists the most in a room full of flies. The French starts, and after a quarter of an hour, comes out.

Then goes the German, who comes out after an hour. Finally, the Italian enters and comes out after five hours.

The French: "But how did you do it?"

The Italian: "I killed one."

The German: "So what?"

The Italian: "And then they were all busy for the funeral!"

I'm pretty sure that "MOI MOI" means "ME! ME!" does it?

I was excited to finally watch the new documentary on Netflix. It was about Pessi’s UberEats career.

In the trailer, Pessi delivered food to French farmers. I watched the documentary and got shocked when I found out how finished Pessi is. He delivered one Pizza in 44 attempts.

Why did the French call Napoleon "Napo?" Because it is Napo[leon].

You know how in Pinocchio the French puppets have the thigh rings?

Well, I got them too! Only red and thinner.

There are 3 men: an American, a French, and an Italian who have to take a trip and take the plane.

The American puts his hand out the window and says: "We are in America, I touched the Statue of Liberty." The French says: "We are in France, I touched the Eiffel Tower." The Italian says: "We are in Italy, I touched the garbage!"

A friend of mine says "Baguette" all the time cuz she is French.

French fries weren't originally cooked in France. They were cooked in Greece.

I find it difficult to count to ten in French: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept.

I can't say the next one because I have a "huit" allergy.

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time," so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.

— Steven Wright

Mr. and Mrs. Potato were walking down the street when a french fry caught the attention of Mr. Potato.

Mrs. Potato said: "I see you eye-balling that French girl!"

What does a French guy say when he falls off?

Oh no, Eiffel!

I asked my French mate if he had a games console. He said, "Oui!"

Did you know that the first French fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.

There are only 2 things I hate in this world:

1. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures. 2. The French.

Why do French people eat snails?

Because they don’t like fast food.

Are you French? Because I Eiffel for you.