Found Jokes

My son asked me how i'm so clean,"inside out.". I told him because of bleach. the next day I found him drinking the bleach.

I was excited to finally watch the new documentary on Netflix. It was about Pessi’s UberEats career. In the trailer Pessi delivered food to French farmers. I watched the documentary and got shocked when I found out how finished Pessi is. He delivered one Pizza in 44 attempts.

3 men were lost in the desert and found a genie who granted each of them a wish, the 1st man wished he was home with his family, the 2nd man wished he was home with his family, and the 3rd man wished they were all back together again.

I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite's orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!

i was digging in a garden once a found a chest full of gold i wanted to show my wife but then i thought why i was digging in the first place

Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and whent up to her mom and asked "mom I have hair on my privates,what is it?" "OH honey thats your monkey." The mom says So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says "my monkey has hair on it" so the sister replies with a laugh "you think thats cool my monkey is already eating bananas

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire. That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.

have you heard about the pedophile who was found guilty of robbery?

- he robbed children of their innocence

When the C.I.A. raided Osama Bin Laden’s house, they found steam on his computer this means he was a gamer. He raged a little too hard and went for New York.

"Hey, hey Spongebob! Water you doing?" [laughs]

"Just looking all my coins with my metal detector because beach better have my money!" [laughs]

"How much have you found so far?"

"Y'know what, I'm not really shore!" [laughs]