Fortune jokes
Like This For Good Luck!
I forgot my lucky egg! It always gives me an eggcellent amount of luck!
Memes
A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel. "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions. You must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate, and you must never hold on to any beef." The Angel then disappeared.
The man did as was told and became generous and kind. As he emerged from the betting office with all his money, he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person each and every time.
He, however, couldn't seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what.
When he died, the Angel came back for him.
"But I'm undeserving; I can't come with you," he said.
"Yes, you can," replied the Angel, "you gave all your stake (steak) away."
My friend has a shovel made of gold. I guess you could call him a gold digger.
What do you call a really fat psychic?
4chin Teller
Guys, say "A wrecked isle dysfunction" really loud and you will get good luck for 10 years.
What's the difference between a joke and a tragedy? Timing.
In the beginning of the 20th century, a young girl called Edit left her home country of Sweden and crossed the Ocean to make a new life in America. Unfortunately, it did not go all that well, and she soon found herself homeless, begging for food or money to survive.
She used to occupy a street next to a theater, not because it meant hefty handouts, but because it was a place where no other beggars or police bothered her. Every night, a new crowd came to see a show, and the cute young girl found just enough mercy to survive. In fact, she did so well that she decided to afford herself a small piece of cake every Tuesday, just to keep her spirits up.
One Tuesday, she could not get a break. Looked like she will go without cake this week. Then, a strange-looking gentleman stopped near her. He soon heard her story and decided to share his fortune.
Gentleman: "I work as a magician in the touring show; today, we performed here. Some nights, our guests want to gamble with us afterwards, and I make sure to bring home more than I came with. I try to keep it moderate, but today, this obnoxious drunk was loaded, so I emptied his pockets. Here, take this precious coin."
Memes
Community
TWO + TWO = 11.5 is quite simple actually though. First, we have to transfer each letter to its corresponding letter in the alphabet. That leads to 20, 23, 15, and 20, 23, 15. However, since "TWO" also happens to be an actual number 2, we have to add 2 to the biggest number on each side, as well as divide 2 to the smaller number on each side. that leads to 20, 25, 7.5 and 20, 25, 7.5 Take each side, and reduce it to … Read more
GENESIS 30 1When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob, “Give me children, or I’ll die!” 2Jacob became angry with her and said, “Am I in the place of God, who has kept you from having children?” 3Then she said, “Here is Bilhah, my servant. Sleep with her so that she can bear children for me and I too can build a family through her.” 4So she gave… Read more
Hey I got a riddle for y’all.
In 1893, a family in a rural village welcomed twins. One a girl, and the other a boy. The girl was named Martha and the boy named Henry. As the children grew, their family’s fortune did as well, and soon they were able to move out of the rural village and into the city. It is now 1903, and the family of 4 purchases a large house and several acres of land on the edge of the city. Over th… Read more